Unintelligent Play-by-Play and Analysis: UFC Fight For The Troops 2 Edition

Reporting live from my couch at 7:00 PM EST, I'll be providing somewhat up to date play-by-play and analysis on UFC Fight For The Troops 2. Leave your thoughts and insults in the comments section. Just hit refresh every once in a while, I guess.

Charlie Brenneman vs. Amilcar Alves

Round 1

Apparently Brenneman won this one with complete ground control. He even achieved full mount at one point in the end.

Round 2

Brenneman again with complete control on the ground. Way to represent New Jersey sir.

Round 3

Your faithful analyst (hehe) tunes to the fight with a minute and a half left. Brennaman on top in Alves' full guard. Rogan name-drops the rubber guard again. How did that work out for Hardy against GSP? Brenneman takes the back as the fight ends. Alves looks super sad as he realizes he's getting pink slipped tomorrow. Joe Rogan drops a couple F bombs whilst making fun of Mike Goldberg wearing leg warmers in 60 degree weather. Well done Joe.

Mike Goldberg interviews Sgt. Wade of the U.S. Army. I gotta say, as an Iraq War veteran, I really appreciate what the UFC does with these Fight For The Troops events. Now if we could get other sports to do something similiar we could probably figure this traumatic brain injury thing out. Funny story about the UFC supporting the troops. When I was in R&R on my deployment to the Middle East, Chris Leben, Kyle Kingsbury, Ed Herman, and Mike Swick came out to NSA Bahrain to do a little PR stuff with us. I met Chris, Mike, Ed, and Kyle while they were doing a grappling demo. They asked me what I was doing that night and I told them that since it was my 25th birthday I would be at the bar getting hammered (a very routine theme in my life). They told me that they would show up, and in my head I thought "Suuure you guys will." But guess what, they totally did, and i have pictures. Suck it everyone else. Just goes to show you how much more personable mixed martial artists are than most other athletes from other fights. This has absolutely nothing to do with a play-by-play but I feel it's relevant to the general theme of the event in Texas.

Waylon Lowe vs. Willamy "Chiquerim" Freire

Round 1

Apparently Freire is pronounced "Frey-dee" and Joe takes the opportunity to make fun of this. Freire looks like a Brazilian Anthony Pettis with Kurt Pellegrino's hair, and he's fired up. Waylon Lowe looks like the guy who stuffed nerds into lockers in high school. Both good fighters though. Touch of the gloves and we're off. Freire pumps the jab, Lowe responds. Big double leg by Lowe. Just plowed right through Freire's hips. Freire controlling the head, Lowe just kind of laying there. Looks like Freire is going for a kimura on the right arm of Lowe. Lowe still just laying there. Mirogliotta warns the fighters to get something going. A little ground and pound from Lowe but nothing serious. Has Lowe been training with Nik Lentz or something? He's not doing anything. Punches from the bottom from Freire. Three minutes left in the round. Another kimura attempt. Hands are locked but Lowe is defending. He's about to pop Lowe's out. Holy shit, the fighters get stood up with Lowe stuck in a kimura attempt. Head kick from Lowe and Lowe drops Freire with a right hand, Lowe is in the full guard again. Looks like another kimura attempt coming up. Lowe steps over and tries to get in half guard but is stuck in butterfly. Full guard. Elbow from Lowe. Dan Miragliotta is an idiot. 10-9 Lowe.

Round 2

Power punches fron Lowe to start the round, then a takedown attempt that is stuffed. Back to their feet. Fighters are clinched against the fence and Freire pushes away. Kick from Freire. Big double leg from Lowe (again). Looks like another kimura attempt. All of a sudden Freire puts up a triangle but Lowe tries to slam out of it. Lowe back into the open guard of Freire. Still in full guard. Lowe appears to just be stalling for this. Half butterfly for Freire. Good stand up from Dan the ref. Lowe appears to be gassed. No foot movement at all from the American wrestler. Leg kick from Freire. He's bouncing around the cage. Another leg kick. Right hand from Lowe and another takedown. Superior wrestling from the American. Not superior guard passing though. Another round for Lowe, I have it 20-18 at this point.

Round 3

Freire needs to end this fight soon if he wants to win. Lowe is DEFINITELY tired at this point. Good counter right cross from Lowe. Freire finding his reach. Lowe's hands are starting to drop. Thudding leg kick from Freire followed bya right. Head kick attempt from Freire. Takedown attempt from Lowe that is avoided. Body kick from Freire, and stuffs another takedown. Lowe mocks Freire from his knees, tries to takedown Freire and gets mounted. Lowe recovers half guard. Freire needs to capitalize if he wants to win this fight. Lowe isn't offering anything from his back, he's just holding on. Freire attempting to pass and feeds Lowe some elbows. Rogan drops the old "wrestlers don't like being on their back" gem. Punches from Freire. Lowe grabs a whizzer and gets back to his feet. Double leg takedown from Lowe. Freire rolls for another kimura attempt. Thirty seconds on the clock and it looks like Lowe is just going to ride this fight out until the end. 10-9 Freire for a 29-28 victory by Lowe.

All three judges score the fight 29-28 for Waylon Lowe.

Rani Yahya vs. Mike Thomas Brown

Round 1

Crowd boos Yahya during the introductions. Classy. Leg kick from Yahya and Brown is putting the pressure on. Another leg kick frmo Yahya. And again. Yahya showing improved standup here. Brown is up in Yahya's face and Yahya shoots for a single. Rani flirts with a guillotine attempt. Yahya rolls and grabs a double. Brown snatches a guillotine. Ballsy move by the ex-champ. Yahya clears the legs of Brown and gets put right back into open full guard. Brown is holding on, looks like he's trying to get a standup. Yahya grabs an arm-in guillotine and drops for it. Brown attempting to get back to his feet. Yahya takes it back down and almost has Brown's back. Superior grappling from the Brazilian. Yahya has one hook in. 10-9 Yahya.

Round 2

Brown rocks Yahya with a left almost off the bat. Yahya threatening with a guillotine as Mike Brown hoists the Brazilian into the air. Brown dumps him to the ground. Yahya snakes his right hand under Brown's neck but I don't think his hands are clasped together. Brown postures up but can't land anything of significance. Brown passes to side control but sweeps Brown and the fighters are back on their feet. Clinched against the fence. Fighters disengage. Brown looks a little lean for this fight, anybody else think so? Leg kicks from Yahya and he appears to be tiring. As usual. Brown looks for a right uppercut and they clinch. Knee from Yahya in the clinch and the fighters disengage. Jab from Rani. Exchange of jabs. Weak takedown attempt and Brown has sprawl control. Looking for a Darce? No it's that Matt Hughes farmboy headlock choke. He lets go. Close round, but it's 20-18 Yahya at this point.

Round 3

TD attempt from Rani right off the bat but Brown has head and arm control. Weak head punches in the clinch from Brown. Yahya takes brown down and lands in half guard. Not good for the ex-champ. Yahya is elbowing the left thigh of Brown and Brown turtles up against the cage. Yahya has one hook in. Two hooks for Rani but Brown is attempting to take top control. Back mount with body triangle from Yahya and he is attempting the rear naked choke. Brown is now on his belly and is taking punches in bunches from the Brazilian. Yamasaki separates them and now they're on their feet. Another terrible call from a licensed-ass referee. The state of referee'ing in MMA is absolutely terrible. Yahya hits the switch on Brown and is on top. 10-9 Yahya, which makes it 30-27 on my scorecards. Way to make me look like an idiot, Rani.

The judges score the fight 30-27, 29-28, and 29-28 for the winner by unanimous decision, Rani Yahya.

Mike Guymon vs. DaMarques Johnson

Round 1

Touch of the gloves and we're off. Leg kick from Guymon, followed by a quick double leg shot that's stuffed. Why do they mention Jeremy Horn every time Johnson fights? Nice hip toss from Damarques and he lands in side control. Johnson looking for the crucifix and is denied. Guymon claims half guard, then open full guard. Elbows from Johnson, and he passes to full mount, then grabs back mount. Not good for Guymon, but he's showing good hand control to prevent the RNC. Johnson is now on top and Guymon taps to the body triangle? Guymon is definitely injured here. I think he broke a rib. Ow.

DaMarques Johnson def. Mike Guymon by submission (verbal).

What the shit is going on here? They're playing the Jim Miller/Matt Wiman fight? Then they move to the Edwards/McKenzie fight. Weird.

Yves Edwards vs. Cody McKenzie

Round 1

McKenzie presses the action from the start and goes for the takedown that is stuffed. Cody grabs and ankle and almost gets Yves to the ground. The fighters are now clinched against they separate.

Another shot from McKenzie and he grabs an ankle. Good takedown defense from Yves Edwards. 1-2 from McKenzie. McKenzie keeps whiffing on his overhand rights and Edwards is winning the striking

exchanges. Cody appears to be tired. Head kick from McKenzie and he slips but Yves doesn't capitalize. Double leg from McKenzie that is stuffed. Edwards throws a knee that misses. Another knee

that doesn't miss. Good leg kick from Edwards. Cody grabs the clinch, tries to pull guard and ends up mounted. McKenzie sneaks out the back door is trying to grab a rear body triangle. Funky grappling

from the TUF veteran. They're back to their feet. Almost one full round and not a single guillotine attempt. McKenzie shoots and almost gets Edwards down.

Damn hard round to score, but if I'm giving it to McKenzie for aggressiveness. 10-9.

Round 2

Edwards starts the round off with some good combos. Almost connects with a head kick that has bad intentions written all over it. Flying knee from Edwards. Another knee from the Muay Thai clinch. Spinning backfist from McKenzie that's answered with a body kick from Edwards. Cody manages to take Edwards down and takes the back. Cody is threatening a back body triangle here and is rolling for mount. Mini-scramble and Cody McKenzie is now in side control. Edwards almost gets to his feet but is dragged down again. Full back mount with body triangle from Cody McKenzie. Very surprising here. Punches from McKenzie and Edwards rolls to his belly. Edwards gets to his feet and AGAIN gets dragged down from the back clinch. Wow. One hook in for McKenzie but Edwards reverses into side control, then mount. McKenzie rolls and Edwards grabs the rear naked choke. McKenzie fights the choke for a good ten seconds but eventually goes out. Come from behind victory for the wily veteran. Great fight.

Yves Edwards def. Cody McKenzie by submission (rear naked choke).

It now looks like the Miller/Wiman fight will be shown live on Spike TV instead of streamed on the UFC Facebook page. Good stuff.

Cole Miller vs. Matt Wiman

Round 1

Wiman and Miller are talking to each other from across the ring during the introductions by Buffer. Miller looks fired up as usual. Dan Miragliotta is the ref so be prepared for stupidity. No glove touch and Wiman takes the center of the ring. Leg kick from wiman. Flurry from Wiman and they clinch on the cage. Wiman looks like he got hurt from a Miller punch but clinches immediately. Flurry followed by a head kick from Wiman and Miller pushes him into the cage. Reversal by wiman and they separate. Head kicked blocked by Miller so Wiman throws two leg kicks. Another flurry followed by a head kick from the Handsome one. The fighters clinch. Three minutes left in the round. Knee to the guts from Cole in the Thai clinch. They separate. Wiman's offense seems centered around flurries of punches. Most of them are being blocked by Miller though. Another knee from Miller, who tries to pull guard and gets thrown to the ground by Wiman. Wiman now standing in Miller's guard and throws a punch followed by an attempt to pass to side control that is stopped. Short elbows from Wiman. Wiman almost throws a Pride knee to the face but looks like it was just a crucifix attempt. Wiman again standing in the guard of Miller and Cole pushes him off. Full guard for Cole Miller. The round ends with Wiman in the full guard of cole Miller. Easy 10-9 for Matt Wiman.

Round 2

More flurries from Wiman, Miller pulls guard but the fighters quickly go to their feet. Wiman trips Miller to the mat off of a kick and is on top again. Wiman is stacking Miller here. Miller flirts with a leglock attempt that is reversed. Wiman now in half guard. Miller with a beautiful escape and the fighters are on their feet. Jab to the body by Cole. The fight is halfway through and it has FOTN written all over it. Knee to the forehead by Wiman and Cole goes down. Half guard here. Now full guard. Wiman trying to pass to side control but ends up in full guard. Big elbow from Wiman and he's teeing off. Another Sakuraba double-slap and my heart is happy. Full guard with Wiman on top and the pace is starting to slow with less than a minute left. More shots from Wiman and it looks like Cole Miller is just trying to survive the round? Strange activity from the ATT fighter. Another round in the books for Matt Wiman, it's now 20-18 on my card.

Round 3

More chit-chat from Miller and another flurry from Wiman. Cole looks frustrated and Wiman lands a nice right to the chin. Clinched on the fence and they separate. Miller dives in and Wiman has a mounted guillotine but he lets it go. Half guard with Wiman on top. Wiman stacks Miller and drops punches. Again he passes to half guard. Miller is being out jiu-jitsu'd here. Miller flirts with a leg lock again but Wiman sees it coming. Elbows from Wiman. Cole Miller needs a stoppage here with two minutes left in the fight. Miller has a body triangle from his back. How much offense can you generate from that position? More punches from Matt Wiman. A diving guard pass attempt from wiman and he hops onto Miller's back with both hooks in. Miller tries to turn into guard but Wiman takes the back. The round ends, and I have Wiman 30-27. Domination from Wiman.

The judges score the bout 29-28, 30-27, and 30-27 for the winner by unanimous decision, Matt Wiman.

Pat Barry vs. Joey Beltran

Round 1

The fighters touch gloves. Both fighters are taking their time here. Thirty seconds go by and not a single strike thrown. Beltran comes in and clinches. Barry pushes his opponent into the fence. Beltran reverses. Two minutes have gone by. Beltran drops for a double from the clinch and comes up with nothing. Switches to a single. Foot stomps and knees to the thigh from Beltran and the fighters are separated. Jab from Barry and Beltran flurries but misses every on every punch. Leg kick from Barry. Whiffs on a high kick. Beltran grabs a single collar tie and wings some punches to Barry's ribs. Beltran groin-shots Barry and he tries to appeal to the ref for no avail. Under a minute left in the round. Another knee to the nuts and Barry says "You got that one man." Beltran agrees. Pat Barry taking his time to recover. Barry looks pissed. Barry is stalking Beltran here. The round ends. 10-10 on my card.

Round 2

Barry starts the round with a high kick that misses. Beltran tries for a leg kick that misses. Another high kick that Beltran takes on the forearm. Another Barry leg kick. Pat Barry starting to pour it on here. Another leg kick from Barry. Beltran is smiling at pat Barry here and eats another leg kick to his left leg. Beltran starts with the foot stomps again. Beltran almost muscles his opponent to the ground from the bodylock position but to no avail. Yamasaki separates the fighters with a little more than two minutes left in the round. Another high kick from Barry and Beltran whiffs on a left. Another leg kick from Barry and Beltran is limping. Head kick and a punch from Barry and Joey Beltran might be hurt here. Inside leg kick from Barry. Barry starting to get comfortable here and is picking his opponent apart. Another leg kick. Beltran is definitely limping, who tries for a knee as they separate. Barry sees every strike Beltran is about to throw from a mile away. Knee to the guts from Beltran. The round ends 10-9 for Pat Barry.

Round 3

Barry starts the round off with a semi-blocked high kick. Right straight from Barry followed by a good head kick. Beltran has a damn good chin. Leg kick to Beltran's right leg. Barry whiffs on a left head kick. Leg kick from Barry. Pat Barry seems to be treating this as more of a kickboxing match than an MMA fight. Beltran pushes Pat Barry into the cage and lands some knees to the thigh. The crowd starts to boo. Beltran lands some punches as the fighters separate. Two minutes left and the fight is up for grabs at this point. Leg kick from Barry again. And again and again and again. Barry might have poked Beltran in the eye and the replay shows he did. The doctor is saying that Beltran can't see, and is asking him if he can continue. Beltran says yes. Big heart from the Mexicutioner. Leg kick from Barry. Another one and Beltran tries to scoop him up but fails. Pat Barry lands a leg kick while Beltran is on all fours and mounts Joey Beltran. He opts to stand. Head kick from Barry that full connects. Joey Beltran can barely stand here and eats a body shot followed by a leg kick. Two more leg kicks and the round ends. Beltran falls to the ground. Great fight again. 10-9 Pat Barry.

The judges score the bout 30-27, 29-28, and 29-28 for Pat Barry.

Mark Hominick vs. George Roop

Round 1

Both fighters exchange with the most significant strike a leg kick from Roop. Jab from Hominick and an overhand right that drops Roop. Hominick lets him off the hook though. Roop throws a flying knee that misses and he falls to the mat. Roop may be out on his feet here. Hominick lands a hard right and a hard left. Hominick drops Roop again, lands a left on the ground and the ref stops the fight. Wow. Roop stumbles over to Hominick to congratulate him and I laugh out loud.

Mark Hominick def. George Roop (TKO)

Matt Mitrione vs. Tim Hague

Round 1

Mitrione declines to touch gloves as the fight begins. Mitrione lands a glancing right and pushes off Hague. Two big left kicks from Mitrione, and another inside leg kick. Mitrione dodges a head kick from Hague but eats an inside leg kick. Meathead throws a leg kick that is grabbed by Hague and pushes the former NFL player into the fence. Mitrione grabs an underhook. Mitrione grabs the head and reverses Hague into the fence but opts to separate. Big inside leg kick from Meathead and Hague answers with a not-quite-as-effective kick. Mitrione drops Hague but lets him back up. Left hook and right straight land for Mitrione. Hague shoots and is denied. Mitrione barely misses on a head kick attempt. Straight left lands for Mitrione and Hague drops to the mat. Mitrione follows with some big punches and the ref pulls him off. Pretty damn impressive performance by Matt Mitrione.

Matt Mitrione def. Tim Hague (TKO)

Evan Dunham vs. Melvin Guillard

Round 1

Cecil Peoples is one our of judges tonight. Not a great sign for Dunham, who gets screwed on decisions. The fighters touch gloves and we're off. Body kick from Dunham connects. Right hand from Guillard and Dunham shoots. Dunham has a back body lock and Guillard goes down. Melvin scoots to the cage to try to get up. Dunham trying to suck Melvin's legs out from the cage but now they're up. 1-2 from Guillard. Jumping roundhouse from Guillard gets answered with a 1-2 from Dunham. Counter left hook lands over the jab of Dunham. Body kick from Dunham misses and Guillard drops Dunham with a right hand. Dunham shoots a desperation takedown. A big knee from the clinch from Guillard wobbles Dunham and two more seal the deal. The last one was illegal but I'm pretty sure the fight was over at that point. Impressive performance from Melvin Guillard.