Happy New Years Charlie...screw it.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another year gone by...whatever. Another year down the toilet is what it is. You know I'm in the exact same position I was when the year started? Huh, did you know that? Well you know now friend...CAUSE I AM! No job (and in turn no money), still living with my parents (who just made me sign up for mother fucking welfare), no girlfriend (given the previously listed set of circumstances should that really be all that hard to believe). So yeah, that's my life. Let me tell you something, everything I tried this year I never went about finishing. Haven't kept up with juggling, didn't keep up with learning Chinese, gave up on myspace, didn't even try on facebook, and I didn't even bother putting your mother in that headlock like I promised her. I don't even know how I've managed to remain part of this blog for so long (probably because I can go long stretches of time without actually doing anything and still keep all my blogging privileges). I mean I could try drinking myself to death but who am I kidding? I'd probably just end up quitting halfway through and just winding up with a massive hangover the next day (plus I loathe the taste of alcohol more than I do Wocka Flocka Flame fans). Plus I...wait a minute, I just caught a glimpse of this Achmed puppet ringtone commercial on TV. Why is Jeff Dunham so famous again? I mean really, he seems like a nice enough guy but come on. You know what, I just came up with my own wacky character people. He's named Socky the talking fucking sock puppet, so how bout you give me millions of dollars and my own pilot on Comedy Central now? It's not like getting a show on Comedy Central would even be all that impressive of a feat nowadays anyway. They'd probably give that Mexican guy on the side of the road selling oranges a show if he ever said one humorous thing in his entire existence (they pretty much already did with Carlos Mencia, only difference is I'd actually rather consider giving the guy with the oranges money for his trade despite the guaranteed Salmonella to accompany it).

Now I know what you're saying "Hey Lelan buddy don't be such a pessimist, you should just try to consider the glass half full!" Oh yeah, well you should consider your mouth half full...with...with my penis. Yeah, how bout that? Took you down a notch didn't I. So I don't know what you people do on new years, go shoot some fireworks up a cat's rectum or get drunk and have an "excuse" for putting the moves on that slutty half-sister of yours. Me, I'm gonna be home drinking this apple cider (like a big boy) and enjoying the bubbly diarrhea which it always gives me in the end.

So Happy New Years Charlie Brown you bald bastard you should be depressed. You're 10 years old with male pattern baldness and you're the least respected member of the Peanuts gang, and they're all a bunch of squares (except Snoopy and Woodstock by association). But seriously...we are all one year closer to death.

Non-MMA Video Of The Day

Some people need bigger sickness bags.....other people may need to stay on solid ground.

Interview of the Day: Maximo Blanco

Our friend (Matthew Benyon) over at TheGrapplingDummy.com just posted this interview with the human embodiment of violence known as Maximo Blanco. It's crazy how he can be so nice and then turn into a murderous fiend in the ring.

My Personal Year In Review: UFC in 2010 - Part Deux

When we last spoke Rich Franklin had just put Chuck Liddell to sleep. Onward!!!

Court McGee won the Team Liddell vs Team Ortiz/Franklin season of The Ultimate Fighter. I was happy for him. Matt Hamill also defeated The Dean Of Mean. Keith was cut after losing the fight and Matt went to the doctor to get his hideous, pus-filled, staph volcano tramp stamp treated.

UFC 116 marked the return of Brock Lesnar to the Octagon. I could not afford tickets to the event but I was determined to be part of the event. So I packed my girlfriend and mother into the car and drove to Vegas. We went to The Buffet at The Bellagio. It was fuckin awesome. Seriously, some of the best food I have ever eaten. The next day we went to the Autograph Session and Weigh Ins. Brief encounters with Kenny Florian, Cain Velasquez and Clay Guida were all nice. Clay might be the nicest dude I have ever met. I also made myself an internet celebrity of enormous proportions with this little number:


Brock Lesnar then went on to get the bejesus beaten out of him for a full round only to come back and submit a thoroughly exhausted Shane Carwin in the 2nd round. Zombie Leben also had an epic battle with Zombihiro Akiyama. Those two fights were fucking bananas and I was glad I got to experience some of the festivities.

The UFC had another card on Versus and Jon Jones elbowed The Janitor into oblivion. This card happened.

The UFC went to Oakland in August. I also went to Oakland in August. I got to watch some great fights three rows from the top of the Oracle Arena. Stefan Struve had a fantastic come from behind victory over Christian Morecraft. Matt Hughes choked Ricardo Almeida to sleep and prompted my girlfriends expert commentary of "Look! His butt just flopped over!". Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen had a title fight for the ages and I was honored to be there. Furthermore, I got engaged the night before the fights. Hooray for ME!

UFC 118 was in Boston and had a few good moments: Gabe Ruediger gave Joe Lauzon a cake at the weigh ins and Joe took it home, shined it up real nice, turned it sideways AND STUCK IT STRAIGHT UP GABE RUEDIGER'S CANDY ASS! Seriously, it was an absolute mauling and I loved every second of it. James Toney made his "long awaited" UFC debut and promptly got tooled by Randy Couture. Randy also received his BJJ black belt after the fight. Fuck man, somebody get Neil Melanson on the phone and tell him I just successfully velcro'd my shoes and am waiting patiently for MY black belt. In the nights main event, Frankie Edgar took him his 2nd straight unanimous decision victory over Baby Jay Penn. The rematch was so one sided. Edgar went out there and made BJ look slower than dog shit rolling uphill.

Nate Marquardt was definitely not greased bro in his fight against Rousimar Palhares at UFC Fight Night. Cole Miller got another submission victory and a star was born when Charles "Do Bronx" Oliveira tapped Efrain Escudero right out of the UFC.

UFC 119 was the MMA equivalent of finding out your mom starred in "2 Girls 1 Cup". The only fight on the main card worth a damn was Evan Dunham v. Sean Sherk. I still think Dunham got hosed but it was close enough that I wasn't too mad Sherk got the nod. The loss didn't matter. This was Evan Dunham's coming out party. Frank Mir and Mirko Cro Cop hugged it out in the final bout of the night. The fight was so bad that even a double knockout due to simultaneous spontaneous human combustion wouldn't have saved that shit sammich. Frank's KO of Mirko was the ONLY KNOCKOUT OF THE NIGHT and it STILL didn't win knockout of the night. C'mon Man!

UFC 120 was held in jolly old England and a lot of shit went down. James McSweeney was finally expelled from the UFC and not a moment too soon. I need to be homies with Rashad Evans so I can get a couple UFC paydays. Apparently that is all it takes! Cheick Kongo cheated his way to a draw with Travis Browne, Michael Bisping beat Sexyama in the main event of the evening as well. The real highlight of the night was Carlos Condit's vicious KO of Dan Hardy. Condit hit him with a fuckin missile that made Robert Downey Jr. very happy in pants:

UFC 121 was at Honda Center and thanks to Dana White and Chuck Liddell being great big sweethearts I was able to go for free. I was thrilled to get to see my favorite fighter Brock Lesnar compete in person. Sadly for me, Cain Velasquez opened up a huge, gaping vagina on his face and TKO'd him for the championship. I was sad to see such a savage beating of Brock, but I enjoyed myself immensely singing "Enter Sandman" and doing the intro with Bruce Buffer word for word. My favorite fight of the night was Diego Sanchez v. Paulo Thiago.

UFC 122 happened. Nate Marquardt blew it. Dennis Siver did very bad things to Andre Winner.

Rampage Jackson made his 2nd post B.A. Baracus appearance in the octagon at UFC 123 against Lyoto Machida and won the fight somehow. Whatever, I guess. BJ Penn put Matt Hughes on ice mere seconds into their trilogy fight and the fun didn't end there! Phil Davis impressed once again with a ridiculous submission of Tim Boetsch, George Sotiropoulos took J-Lo's arm back down under with him and even Karo Parysian showed up and got knocked out in a sad fight. The most lasting impact this card had was that Gerald Harris got beat and was cut after the fight. the internet went into a tail spin and people got mega butthurt for reasons that still elude me.

Jonathan Brookins became the newest Ultimate Fighter and certainly became the ultimate fighter with the prettiest hair of all time (sorry Amir). Leonard Garcia beat Nam Phan in a fight he totally deserved to win. In a related story, this suit is NOT BLACK!

The UFC ended the year in style with UFC 124. I watched it at a friendly neighborhood Hooters that was staffed with mediocre at best looking women. Thankfully the fights were not as ugly as the wait staff. Sean McCorkle got shut up by Stefan Struve, Jim Miller and Mark Bocek both got SWEET submission victories and Georges St. Pierre jabbed Josh Koscheck right onto the operating table. If only I didn't have to stare at all the wildebeests that worked at the sports bar it would have been a perfect night.

That is all I have for the UFC Yearbook. Thanks for reading and feel free to share your personal favorite moments in the comments section. HUGS!

My Personal Year In Review: UFC in 2010 - Part One

The year started off with the much maligned UFC 108. My memories of this event are how Sam Stout teed off on Creepy Joe Lauzon at will. It was crazy to hear Sam's corner yell out combos and watch him land every single time. Cole Miller locked up the year's first candidate for Submission of the Year in his victory over Dan Lauzon and his retarded neck tattoo.

Shortly after that, the UFC had the balls to trick me into thinking Mark Coleman could defeat Randy Couture. I don't know if it was nostalgia, stupidity or video packages of "The Hammer" showing off his startling Muay Thai but I was definitely pulling for Coleman here. Alas, he canceled Christmas in vain and got RNC'd by "The Natural". To make matters worse, Tito Ortiz's colossal cranium started yelling at him after the fight. Too bad Coleman got cut and we never got to see that fight......I guess.

Cain Velasquez then knocked out the corpse of Minotauro Nogueira in the main event of the UFC's first Australian card. OH and Michael Bisping totally beat Wanderlei Silva and was absolutely fucking robbed by the dumb judges who just sat there and saw Mike lose the 2nd and 3rd rounds decisively. This fight birthed one of my favorite .gifs of the year.



Jon Jones claimed his first victim of 2010 in Brandon Vera when Bones hit him with an absolutely disgusting elbow from inside Vera's guard. It sounded like someone stepped on a piece of glass and made the right side of Vera's face flatter than Arianny Celeste's pancake butt.

At UFC 111 Shane Carwin marched his totally never had a needle rammed in it ass into New Jersey and knocked Frank Mir's chin pubes into the stratosphere with brutal uppercuts and some strikes to the back of the head. The strikes to the back of the head were totally cool, bro. Tan Dan stood there and watched them go so it's all good. Georges St. Pierre also made another Welterweight look incredibly silly as he dominated Dan Hardy for 25 minutes.

Takanori Gomi made his UFC debut this year and boy was it ever underwhelming. I was really hoping Gomi would end this shit quickly so I wouldn't have to endure Keith Florian's yelling and screaming monkey ass all night. Roy Nelson also knocked out Stefan Struve in a body shape mindfuck of a Heavyweight fight.

Anderson Silva filmed his pilot episode of Pants Off Dance Off: Abu Dhabi at UFC 112 and Frankie Edgar defeated BJ Penn for the Lightweight strap in the same night. Apparently it sucked and everyone was totallhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gify pissed yo.

The UFC went to Montreal twice this year. The first trip was UFC 113 and it was a great night of fights. Unless you were named Jason MacDonald and you broke your leg defending a takedown. Thankfully, John Salter celebrated his TKO victory over The Athlete in classy fashion by acting like he just won the Middleweight Title, the Super Bowl, MegaBucks and On-Demand Blowjobs for life all at once. After that, Patrick Cote got Pedigree'd by Alan Belcher, Matt Mitrione saved us from Kimbo Slice, Paul Daley got booted out of the UFC for punching Josh Koscheck after 15 minutes of missionary style coitus and Shogun Rua destroyed both Lyoto Machida and his knee (again) in less than a round to capture the UFC Light-Heavyweight Title.

UFC 114: Black On Black Crime was next on the calendar and Rashad Evans beat "Quittin" Jackson. The Main Event didn't deliver but everything else did. John Hathaway flat out embarrassed Diego Sanchez, Jason Brilz and Little Nog had an excellent fight in what was almost a phenomenal upset. and Mike Russow channeled his inner Homer Simpson in a crazy KO victory over TODDDUFFEE!. It was, in a word: Bop.


The UFC rumbled into Vancouver in June and had to deal with a bunch of uppity folks with beady eyes and flapping heads that didn't want "human cockfighting" in their fine city. Some dickhole fan stole fighter's hats and Ben Rothwell's napkin during entrances as a sign of goodwill. As for the fights, Carlos Condit scored a buzzer beater TKO victory over Rory MacDonald. Pat Barry got to second base with Cro Cop before breaking his hand, breaking his foot and getting choked into submission and Rich Franklin knocked Chuck Liddell the fuck out after Chuck broke Rich's arm with a kick. Chuck hasn't fought since, thank God.

Join me later this week for Part Two! Thanks for reading this.

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!

Good evening UD community, hows it been since last we met? Yeah that's great, listen I'm gonna need to cut you off though cause I kind of have more important things to get to, but good talk. As UD's resident Christian (oh noes, RELIGION!) now hold on...hold on wait a second, unroll those eyes friend I'm not here to pass out pamphlets or anything (although I do have a few fliers if you're interested). I'm simply here to wish you all a Merry Christmas (and to everybody who may not choose to participate, Happy...Saturday I guess).

Now is the day to celebrate the birth of our Lord (oh yeah, that Jesus thing does have something to do with it). I mean, at this point it's pretty much common knowledge that Jesus wasn't born anywhere near this time of year, he's actually projected to have been born around the summer season closer to late June. It's also known at this point that the holiday itself borrows heavily from the Pagan winter festival known as Yule as well as some other early celebrations of the Sun. Did you know mistletoe actually has it's fair share of Pagan ties itself? It's also known as a parasitic plant that's a major hindrance to the timber industry. So yeah, think on that the next time you're smooching on the Lord's inaccurately placed birthday. Oh, and don't even get me started on the whole Santa Claus gimmick, just a small part in the attempt of taking something sacred and making it about greed and consumerism (you know, the way the Illuminati really wants it). Do you think the original Saint Nicholas is thrilled about the idea of his name forever being associated with the attempt to show up Jesus on his on his own B-day? He's probably rolling in his grave, or tomb, or sarcophagus...whatever they did with dead people back then.

You know what, this is all beyond the point. The point is that no matter where your beliefs may lay I wish you the happiest of holiday seasons. So have a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah (didn't that start recently? Whatever, Matthew's Jewish or something ask him about it), and I don't know...have a jolly Kwanzaa or whatever it is you're supposed to say (it doesn't matter anyway, black people only kind of pretend to care about that one and it's mainly just to throw white people off).

Enjoy yourselves, it's a celebration!

Jonathan Brookins' TUF Finale Experience

He certainly has a long way to go as a fighter, but he's passionate about what he does and seems like a genuinely likable guy. Snapwell Films did an awesome job on this one.

JonathanBrookins.com

Track of the Day: Tea Leaf Dancers

If you can't tell by now, I'm a Flying Lotus Fan.

Shitty MMA Gear: Jesus Didn't Tap - Blue Lion Fight Shorts

image via mmaoverload.com

Okay, I will admit that I like the colors of these shorts. That is the end of what I like about these shorts. Jesus Didn't Tap is a silly concept to me in all honesty. First of all, tapping was not a submission signal two thousand years ago. Second of all, Jesus didn't tap because he was nailed to the cross! He could have air tapped like James Toney but Jesus is way to cool for that shit. Furthermore, we ALL know that tapping is for bitches. Jesus may or may not be a lot of things. He may not have been real, he may not have been the son of God. He may even have been the original hippie but he damn sure wasn't a bitch.

Please do not purchase such heinous garments. If you do wear this shit your mom should be slapped for providing half of your DNA. If your mom is dead, her body should be exhumed and she should be hit harder than Kane hit Katie Vick. Oh yeah, I know some wrestling too motherfuckers!

Seriously though, don't buy it. Even Jesus would be pissed at you.

MMA Highlight Video of the Day

Random Hilarity of the Day: The Dangers of "Video Modeling"

Test Your Might: Why I Want Overeem In The UFC

Photo Credit goes to Esther Lin at AllElbows.com

Congrats to Alistair Overeem for winning the 2010 WGP and becoming the first two combat sport champion. Will this victory mean that Alistair will focus more on MMA? Will he fight higher caliber fighters or will we see the same questionable match ups? Now that the dust has settled from the great rankings debate, and K-1 is done, let's deliberate as to why Overeem should be in the UFC. Could this all be said regarding Strikeforce? Absolutely, but Coker had his chance and he didn't utilize it to the fullest.


My thoughts start with that body, of course they do, he is every woman's fantasy. The simple truth of it that his bodybuilder physique is valuable. Low body fat means endorsements, promos etc. like it or not body matters. Consider that Todd Duffee shot the cover of Muscle and Fitness after his first UFC fight and was sponsored by Muscletech before that. "Demolition Man" might as well be his superhero name because the man looks like a full size action figure. Not to mention since going to heavyweight full time he has been 8-0. This size increase has lead to speculation that he uses steroids. Most of this fueled by the fact that his size increase coincided with time spent fighting outside the US. Skeptics want to see him fight in the US and be tested regularly. We all wanna know if it's really horse meat he's ingesting.



Overeem would definitely add excitement to the heavyweight division. Seriously who don't you want to see Alistair fight in the UFC? Alistair has a convincing submission game, in fact 19 of his wins have come via submission. It's his kickboxing however, that gets my heart racing. Overeem's 2008 fight against Badr Hari got every ones attention when he KO'd Hari with a brutal left hook. This fight and his war with Remy Bonjasky won fans hearts and got him into the K-1 World Grand Prix in 2009. Although Peter Aerts was beyond his prime at this point, it was a great fight, with Alistair tossing Peter aside like a rag doll numerous times and a huge win for Overeem. The 2010 K-1 Grand Prix we saw him KO Dzevad Poturak with a savage uberknee. Then Overeem abused Ben Edwards, knocking him down twice with huge overhand rights. WGP Finals we saw Alistair display some patience in his striking defeating Spong by unanimous decision. He destroyed teammate Gokhan Saki's arm with a left kick resulting in a first round TKO. Then he faced Peter Aerts for the second time. The crowd was behind Peter as the unlikely hero, but as Shivello said "you can not deny the awesomeness of Alistair Overeem" Absolute seduction, makes my heart swoon.


In case that isn't enough reason for you, what about his amazing self promotion? His vlog is the best there is. The content, editing and music are all phenomenal. Plus it gives us a mellow, funny and well spoken personality to pair with his enormous size frame. They just make me appreciate Alistair more and more.

Remember when Overeem said he would sign with the UFC right away if the conditions were right? Dana, please make these conditions happen. Who's with me?

Oh, He Leakin'....

Classic International Track of the Day: Fefe Naa Efe

A classic tune by Fela Kuti, the Demi-God of Afrobeat.

Track of the Day: Charlie Brown

Ghostface Killah + MF DOOM = WIN

Non-MMA Video Of The Day

I really don't have a whole lot to say about this.

The Kick Seen Round the World! (Kinda)

If I had a vagina it would be specifically designated to having Anthony Pettis' baby (and getting me out of the occasional traffic ticket). Last night Pettis landed one of the most...no fuck that THE MOST AMAZING KICK...no wait that's too much, one of the most incredible kicks...no fuck it THE MOST AMAZING KICK EVER SEEN in the sport/competetion/human cockfight known as MMA. It was the perfect sendoff to the quiet MVP of the MMA world known as the WEC. While the rest of the card lacked that certain sizzle that a WEC show is specifially known for (even the main event had just been pretty good up until that point imo) that kick sent waves of orgasms out through the arena and across the world watching at home (even women got hard after seeing that kick). Grown men were ripping out their own chest hair, women where in hysterics as their vaginas unleased a wave of fluids that only Moses could be brought in to deal with (gross), little children were drinking while driving, old women were quoting the necromonicon IT WAS PANDEMONIUM! I saw that kick and immediately had to high five my erection. I wanted to run through the streets butt naked covered in spaghetti waving an American flag and ripping down Christmas decorations, it was that awe inspiring.

Pettis was going into this fight with a series push, already well known for his flashy and unpredictable style as well for his one episode stint on MTV's newest documentary show The World of Jenks which gained him a great amount of new found attention (as well as a truckload of panty donations to his doorstep). This kid not only inflated his own fame with that magnificent kick, but he also inflated MMA as well. If you'd turn on the TV you'd see this kid practically running ESPN, he's trending on twitter, and was just offered a free night with the first lady from Barack OBama himself (Obama's only rule, just wipe her off before you give her back). Not only is Pettis going to have SUBSTANTIAL hype going into his first UFC title fight against the winner of Edgar/Maynard (anyone expecting that same kind of excitement if he fights Maynard, prepare to be deflated) but that kick is going to live on in the anals of MMA history (yes, I know the correct word is annals...but I don't care). One of the more amazing moments of the night (besides one of the announcers suggesting two fighters be stood up from a locked in triangle, or Dominick Cruz literally juking and jiving around Scott Jorgenson for 5 rounds) was that Ben Henderson actually looked surprisingly surprised when the decision came in. Now I was actually rooting for Bendo to win (always bet on black...ish Korean) but even if he won every round by a score of 10-2, as soon as Pettis lands that kick he should automatically get the nod. The only thing that could've possibly made that kick better was if it had actually finished Henderson, but as we all know Bendo is impervious to most mortal weaponry.

This is a new day ladies and gentlemen, the WEC is dead and it's talent pool will officially be absorbed into the UFC Juggernaut. I couldn't imagine a better way to end such an event or even promotion. Goodbye WEC, I may have come aboard later than others but at the end of the day in it's last few moments of existence I (unlike others) can say I WAS THERE!

Rest in peace WEC, you may now go gentle into that good night...

Ben Henderson and Anthony Pettis: A Most Proper Swan Song

The WEC is now no more. There will never be another fight inside the blue cage. Ben Henderson and Anthony Pettis ended it not with a whimper or a bang, but an absolute classic 5 round title fight. There really could not have been a more fitting end to the promotion. Only ending world hunger, curing cancer and free puppies for everyone in attendance could have improved the final act of World Extreme Cagefighting.

Anthony Pettis' ridiculous jumping alley-oop off the cage head kick on Smooth was a thing of beauty. Anyone who ever doused their drawers over Alan Belcher's cage assisted Superman Punch on Sexyama @ UFC 100 should bow down to the new cage assisted strike king. Seriously, It's only been a half an hour since the event ended and I am well aware that if this thing doesn't calm down in the next 3.5 hours I am going to the hospital to seek medical attention. I think I might be the first man to suffer Priapism at the hands of a Mixed Martial Arts fight.

I knew it was tied up going into the final frame but I thought Henderson might need a finish after Pettis had his back for the entire 3rd round. I thought that could have very easily been a 10-8 round. The fight was a back and forth battle that had it all: fluid and flashy striking, power punches and kicks, great wrestling and bjj. I really could not have asked for more from the final fight inside the blue cage.

Hats off to both Ben Henderson and Anthony Pettis. You guys put the company out to pasture in style. Thanks for an amazing fight.

Unintelligent Clarification: Cans, Journeymen, and other terms.

The online MMA community is an interesting bunch. We’re quick to deify a fighter after an exciting victory and just as quick to dismiss them after a loss. We throw terms around without knowing their meanings or origins. I’ve taken it upon myself to try and clarify some of them. This entry deals with the terms Can, Journeyman, and fighters that are “Shot” or on the tail end of their careers. I’ll try to give clear definitions and will provide examples of each term.

Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to the fighters that I list, but the truth is the truth.

Let's start off with one of the most over used words in combat sports,

The Can:

The terms origins are from MMA's older brother, Boxing. The term itself comes from the comparison of a Tomato Can to an inferior fighter. They're cheap, easy to open (beat up), and just as easily disposed of. These fighters have little to no talent and are usually brought in to build other fighters up or be used during "Showcase" fights. Their records often have more losses than wins, and the few wins that they do have are against other low-level fighters.

Some examples of Cans in MMA:

Shannon "The Cannon" Ritch (46-73-0-4) - The many losses on his record read like a "Who's who" list of Mixed Martial Artists. And the wins that he does have are over lesser known fighters with losing records.

Shawn Nolan (6-46) - His record speaks for itself. Most of his losses came within the 1st minute of the fight.

Joseph "The Ho Bag" Bochenek (0-10) - He has more losses than all of his opponents wins and losses combined.

Journeyman/woman:

The term Journeyman has been around far longer than Boxing and MMA. It's original meaning is that of a craftsman that has been fully trained in a craft but has yet to create a "Master Piece". The same can be said for a fighter. They may have the tools and training to become a champion but something holds them back from doing so. More often than not this is caused by mental lapses, "Glass Jaws" (this will be addressed soon), nagging injuries, etc., etc. Journeymen/women usually have winning records but lose to MMA's Elite fighters.

Some Examples of Journeymen/women in MMA:

Joe "El Dirte" Doerksen (46-14) - Joe is one of the few fighters to have more than 50 fights under his belt. He holds notable wins over Chris Leben, Patrick Cote, and MMA Folk Legend Lee Murray. But he's never been able to thrive on the big stage, losing 8 of his 10 fights inside the Octagon.

Denis Kang (33-12-2-2)- Many of us cling to the memory of the Denis Kang that seemed unbeatable in PRIDE FC. When facing lackluster competition, he looks like a monster. But his more recent fights have shown that he breaks down mentally against high-level competition.

"Mr. International" Shonie Carter (49-26-7-1) - Simply put, Shonie Carter is the epitome of a Journeyman. He's fought some of the best in the world on nearly every continent. He's decent at almost every aspect of the game but he never was able to become a champion on the big stage.

Fighters that are "shot":

These are fighters that are past their prime. They may have once been prospects, contenders or even champions. But their glory days are far behind them. Some have too much pride to quit, while others have to fight for paychecks. They claim to be in the best shape of their lives during interviews, only to get embarrassed by younger fighters with far less experience. They probably still have winning records but they've racked up more than a few losses in their most recent bouts.

Some examples of fighters that are "Shot":

"The Worlds Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock (28-15-2) - He's been in MMA since it was little more than a Kumite. At one point his nickname was arguably relevent, but these days he's a shell of the fighter that he once was. Steroids, Epic Battles, and (mainly) Legal Troubles have a lead him to his current situation. Fighting anywhere that he can get a paycheck.

Gary "Big Daddy" Goodridge (23-21-1) - He will forever be remembered for elbowing the shit out of Paul Herrera's head at UFC 8. Since then he pretty much lost as many fights as he won. He lost his last 7 MMA bouts and hadn't won a Kickboxing match since '06. To say that he was shot might have even been an understatement. He was pretty much a human heavy bag when he retired. Which was painful to watch, since he's one of the sports pioneers.

Jens "Little Evil" Pulver (22-14-1) - Jens was once the Lightweight King of MMA. He was the UFC's 1st LW Champion and the 1st man to hand BJ Penn a loss. But personal demons dragged his career into a downward spiral. He's only won 2 of his last 10 fights, which has lead many fans to call for him retire. But the saddest part of his situation is that he has stated that he has to keep fighting in order to provide for his family.

Four Questions with Genghis Con about Miami Hustle

Combat sports always lead to fans making highlight reel videos of their favorite fighters. Unfortunately most of them are terrible. Isaac Kensington aka Genghis Con, is one of the few bright spots in the world of highlight videos. He's a musician and film maker whose highlight reels tell a story about fighter careers.

Recently, he's been working with the folks at American Top Team to create videos for fighters like Junior Assuncao and prospect Douglas Lima. This connection has lead to the creation of an amazing series idea entitled "Miami Hustle", which follows the lives of Jorge Masvidal, Gesias Cavalcante, Jorge Santiago, Alexis Villa, and Juan Carlos Faraldo, who trains the group at South Miami Sports Performance. I had the chance to send him some questions regarding this project and his future endeavors.

ThisRedEngine: How did you come up with the idea for Miami Hustle? How did you get connected with the South Miami Sports Performance guys?

Genghis Con: I first contacted Masvidal and went up to Miami to shoot some stuff with him at South Miami Sports Performance. From there I meet his coach Juan Carlos Faraldo and we started discussing ideas for videos. There was so much going on up there that we immediately thought reality. About a week later I got a call from Juan Carlos, JZ and Santiago and we discussed ideas and I was there a week later before Santiago's fight with Misaki and we began there.

ThisRedEngine: Is this a web based series? When can people expect episodes to be completed?

Genghis Con: The plan is to put it on Television. We have a lot of other stuff for the web that will come out soon. There's no real time line right now but were already filming the 3rd episode. Hopefully by Spring.

ThisRedEngine: Will this series focus more on the training aspect or the lives of the fighters outside of the gym?

Genghis Con: It's going to focus on everything. There will be good training sessions as well as the fights. There will also be a lot of focus on their lives outside of the gym.

ThisRedEngine: What can people expect from Genghis Con in the future?

Genghis Con: In the future hopefully I'll still be doing Miami Hustle and I'm currently working on a web show not MMA based called Tru Stories, an action comedy based in Atlanta.

So there you have it, the story behind Miami Hustle. I seriously suggest checking out Genghis' website http://genghiscon.wordpress.com/ and the website set up for Miami Hustle http://miamihustle.wordpress.com/ for all updates regarding this project.

WEC 53: Benson Henderson and Anthony Pettis fight for #1 Contendership

This Thursday will decide two things. The first is who will become the UFC's first Bantamweight Champion in a fight between Dominick Cruz and Scott Jorgenson. The second will be Benson Henderson and Anthony Pettis fighting for a shot at the winner of UFC 125's Lightweight Championship bout between Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard. The fact that this fight has legitimate title implications for the two WEC fighters makes this the most important fight on the card. I'm also in the minority thinking that both of these fighters could make an impact in the UFC's shark tank of a lightweight division. While Zuffa may not expect for anyone in the WEC's LW division to make an impact, I think there is far too great an upside on two exciting fighters like Henderson and Pettis. The only bad matchup coming out of this and 125 is Gray Maynard so let's keep our fingers crossed for that not to happen.

Coming into this fight Benson Henderson has cleared out the WEC's Lightweight Division. He's faced Nigerian Striker Anthony Njokuani who he finished 42 seconds into the second round with a guillotine choke. He faced Shane Roller who couldn't make it outside of the second minute of the first round when Henderson finished him via TKO. His next fight in the WEC just happened to be the Fight of the Year in a back and forth bout with Donald Cerrone that also won Benson the WEC interim Lightweight Belt. He then became the undisputed WEC Lightweight Champion after guillotine choking Jamie Varner. His first defense was a rematch that everyone hoped would live up to the epicness of the first bout when he took on Donald Cerrone at the WEC's first and only foray into Pay Per View in April of this year. Unfortunately for the fans, the fight ended quickly with his signature guillotine choke. This choke netted Ben a $65k submission of the night bonus, so while the fans were robbed of another epic bout, Ben made up for it with a highlight reel choke.

Anthony Pettis has had a more tumultuous WEC career. While Ben Henderson gained notoriety against the top fighters in the division, "Showtime" has cut his teeth against the B List of the WEC lightweight division. He burst on the scene with a big win over Sityodtong product Mike Campbell (yes, the same Mike Campbell that recently defeated Yves Edwards at the Moosin Event), finishing the fight with a beautiful triangle choke. His next fight in the WEC was an absolute war against IFL standout Bart Palaszewski. The fight was a back and forth contest that saw Pettis lose a split decision. Pettis would bounce back against Danny Castillo when he finished the fight by knock out with a headkick followed by punches. This also was the bout he was training for when he made his appearance on World of Jenks. Having taken no damage in the Castillo bout, Showtime would fight a month later on the Aldo vs. Faber card against Ultimate Fighter Season 1 vet, Alex Karalexis. He was able to finish the fight with a triangle choke in the second round. Anthony would fight one more time, in a bout against Shane Roller at WEC 50: Cruz/Benavidez 2. He would cinch in a triangle choke to finish the Team Takedown member in the end of the third round.

I expect this to be a fantastic fight between two very dynamic fighters. The standup is all Pettis while the grappling will surely favor Henderson. What makes this bout exciting is that they are both proficient at their opponents strength and lanky enough to make this an extremely exciting match. I'm gonna say I expect Henderson to win, he's just been too well rounded and has fought better opposition in his WEC career. He's a boarder line top 10 Lightweight and I think this fight pushes him over the cusp into the top 10 rankings.

Tomorrow I'll post my thoughts on the other championship bout between Dominick Cruz and Scott Jorgenson.

Goodbye Captain America

In perhaps the craziest way to end a career, it appears that Randy Couture has called it a day with a twitter update. No big ceremony, not major interview. Randy opted for perhaps the most nonchalant way to end an extremely storied MMA career. He had been pondering retirement since the James Toney fight and it appears he decided there is nothing else to accomplish in his MMA career.

Randy Couture retires as a three time UFC Heavyweight Champion, two time UFC Light Heavyweight Champion, a UFC interim Light Heavyweight Champion, the UFC 13 Heavyweight Tournament winner, and a UFC Hall of Fame inductee.

If this is in fact the end of Randy's career, it is a fitting way to go out. His trilogy with Chuck Liddell made me a MMA fan and will forever define the golden years of Zuffa owned UFC. With Chuck retiring earlier this year via The Ultimate Fighter, it appears those early champions are finally leaving the sport that they love. His post retirement wins over Tim Sylvia and Gabe Gonzaga cemented his legacy as a man unwilling to succumb to age.

Over his career, Randy stopped a "Phenom", crushed a "Rock", spanked a "Bad Boy", and showed us the "Truth" about Brandon Vera. He would melt the "Iceman" and nail the "Hammer". He even turned James Toney's "lights out". He once beat up a "Monster" in order to win the UFC Heavyweight Belt. His mythical career lead him to Japan where he defeated a former UFC champion in TK. Randy Couture defined the odds every time he stepped into the ring and always fought better when he was the underdog. His ability to overcome the odds made him one of the best fighters in the world. His ability to rise to the occasion made him the best UFC Heavyweight champion ever.

Thank you for the memories Captain America, you are my hero.

R.I.P James Lynn Strait

I was on a mini vacation last weekend which caused this to be a few days late.

On December 11th 1998, James Lynn Strait was killed in a car accident in Southern California. Lynn was the vocalist for the band Snot and he is one of my favorite singers of all time. The band has a sound all their own. Since Lynn passed other members have gone on to play in other bands including, Amen, Sevendust and Soulfly.

In 2008 the remaining members reformed with Tommy "Vext" Cummings formerly of Divine Heresy on vocals. He and original guitarist Sonny Mayo left in 2009 and now the band has re-reformed under the name Tons. A name so retarded I'm ashamed to even fucking type it.

The only shit that really matters here is that I still love to listen to the only album Snot ever released entitled Get Some. Lynn was an amazing singer and will always be one of my all time favorites. In late 2000, the tribute album Strait Up was released featuring the song Angel's Son written by Clint and Lajon of Sevendust who were very close with Lynn and the other guys in Snot.

Thanks for all the great music Lynn. You are gone but not forgotten.

WEC 53 is Thursday...Guess Who's Going?

That's right, your favorite Unintelligent Defense writer (ME) is flying out for 24 hours to see the last WEC event. I was able to find really cheap airfare ($55 using Continental miles) which allowed me to spoil myself and get 4th row seats just off the floor. My flight is at 8:10 AM which is waaay too early and I arrive in Phoenix at 10AM. The doors open at 4PM and I will be there at exactly 4PM. I won't be missing anything because this will be the show of the year.

What's this mean for you guys? Well I'm bringing my camera and hoping to catch some really good pictures at the event. I'm also hoping to catch up with a fighter or two to somehow score an interview I can post on here. I doubt it'll happen but hoping it does.

The biggest thing is that I'll be live tweeting from the event so I'll have the play by play of all the prelims. I know that Zuffa is planning a couple big things for the WEC's final show but don't know what. So I'll probably tweet those as well. So feel free to follow me on twitter @thisredengine

And finally, I'll post a youtube video of my post fight thoughts from my hotel room.

Wicked Awesome MMA Tattoos: Neil Melanson

Neil Melanson is the grappling coach at Extreme Couture. You might have seen him presenting Randy Couture his black belt in the ring following his submission over the incredibly difficult to submit James Toney at UFC 118. He also married MMA fighter Erin Toughill. He also has some pretty bad ass tattoos.

They are all done in black and gray, have great shading, detail and background work. I have the same background style on my sleeve as Neil does on his right leg.

The standout part of his artwork, in my opinion, is his elbow. The elbow is a difficult part of the body to tattoo as your options are kind of limited. It looks like an old ship's wheel to me and the detail and placement is perfect. It is a much better choice than some people and their dumbass spiderweb elbows or just leaving the elbow as negative space.

So congratulations to you, Neil Melanson. Not only are you the head grappling coach at one of the best MMA gyms in the world but you are definitely the owner of some Wicked Awesome MMA Tattoos.

UFC 124: Mystery Challenge Video

This is the worst challenge yet. FUCK YOU DEO AND MARTA...lol.

UFC 124: MYSTERY CHALLENGE!!!

While we wait for Deowade to put up his gallon of milk challenge video (I think you cheekin), MostDiabolicalHater and I are going head to head for UFC124. It seems that Deo is away and Marta has her company work party and I guess that means they can't email me their picks. But, we won't disappoint you guys. This challenge is a mystery to us. The winner picks the challenge and the loser must complete it by Monday night. I know what I'm planning for Tom to do and I know he has something equally as diabolical lined up for me.

MostDiabolicalHater

Pick: Georges St. Pierre
Opinion: I am desperately hoping GSP can finish Koscheck here. Josh has a sloppy stand up game and Georges is precise with his strikes. Georges has already proven to be a better wrestler and his BJJ is far superior. I am predicting St. Pierre will drop Koscheck repeatedly on the feet like he did with Fitch. George will finish this one though. Prepare to have your blond fro dyed crimson Josh. I can't wait.
How It Will End: TKO Rd. 4

Pick: Stefan Struve
Opinion: I can't fucking stand McCorkle so here's hoping the Skyscraper puts him to sleep.
How It Will End: Submission Rd. 2

Pick: Charles Oliveira
Opinion: "Do Bronx" is on a gravy train with biscuit wheels and I just don't think Jim Miller is the person to slow his meteoric rise. This is very likely to be the Fight Of The Night.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Joe Stevenson
Opinion: Joe is going to overpower Mac here. Either this is Danzig's last UFC fight or a drop to 145 might be in order.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Thiago Alves
Opinion: The Pitbull gets a rebound win in impressive fashion.
How It Will End: TKO Rd. 2

Pick: Mark Bocek
Opinion: A drop to 155 is not the solution for Hazelett. Bocek's got this.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Rafael Natal
Opinion: Bongfeldt hasn't lost since 2007 when Jonathan Goulet TKO'd him. If "The Road Warrior" stops you, I can't bring myself to pick you.
How It Will End: Submission Rd. 1

Pick: Matt Riddle
Opinion: I don't know. Pierson lost to Bongfeldt and I picked Bongfeldt to lose so there you go.
How It Will End: TKO Rd. 3

Pick: Dan Miller
Opinion: Doerkson got strangled by CB Dolloway in his last outing. I don't think this one is gonna be any different.
How It Will End: Submission Rd. 2

Pick: Ricardo Almeida
Opinion: Big Dog got choked the eff out in Oakland at 117. He gets back on track here.
How It Will End: Submission Rd. 1

Pick: Pat Audinwood
Opinion: Its "Awesomely Awesome" vs. "The Bull". Gotta go with nickname superiority.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

ThisRedEngine

Pick: Josh Koscheck

Opinion: Maybe it's a gut instinct or a retarded pick made after staying up till 6am last night watching K1 WorldGrand Prix, but I have a ridiculous feeling that Koscheck will upset Georges. He's improved and won't give up the takedown as easily as Alves and 'ardy.

How it will end: Left hook, sorry Freddy Roach.

Pick: Stefan Struve

Opinion: McCorkle is loved on the UG. This ain't the UG.

How it will end: Triangle

Pick: Jim Miller

Opinion: I think this is too big a step up for "Do Bronx". He's shown good instincts but Jim Miller is a legitimate top 10 LW. The fact he has gone 7-1 in the UFC and isn't even in talks for a title shot is ridiculous. Hopefully this gets him a #1 contender's match after Bendo/Pettis take on the winner of Maynard/Edgar.

How it will end: Decision

Pick: Joe Stevenson

Opinion: Both of these guys have been disappointing in their post-TUF careers but Stevenson at least had a title shot. Danzig must have some black mail material on the Fertitas to still have a job. Whoever loses this fight will probably cut to 145 but should probably be cut completely from the UFC.

How it will end: TKO

Pick: Alves

Opinion: John Howard is being punished for something. This shouldn't be competitive and if it is, then it says a lot about Thiago Alves and who he is vs. who we thought he was.

How it will end: TKO via leg kicks

Pick: Dustin Hazelett

Opinion: I'm hoping this wasn't a bad cut cause he has the skills and size to mangle Bocek.

How it will end: Armbar

Pick: Dan Miller

Opinion: Dan's fallen on some rough times in and outside of the Octagon. But he should be able to rebound against Joe Dorkson. He is better everywhere and it should show.

How it will end: TKO

Pick: Rafael Natal

Opinion: This is the definition of a gimme fight. I saw him in Austin at UFN 22 and he showed up out of shape and the fear with Natal is that he doesn't put in the time to take advantage of his abilities. If he can't beat some no name dude then he's not ever gonna be ready to fight in the UFC.

How it will end: Submission

Pick: Matt Riddle

Opinion: This is a showcase fight for Riddle. He wins where ever and how ever he wants to.

How it will end: Whatever Riddle wants to do, probably TKO

Pick: Ricardo Almeida

Opinion: TJ Grant is good but he relies on grappling to win fights. He won't out grapple Almeida. He loses.

How it will end: Choke

Pick: Pat Audinwood

Opinion: He took on a difficult Thiago Tavares at UFC 119. He lost but still is a decent prospect. I like him over whatever the other guy's name is.

How it will end: Decision

Below is the Opening Sequence for 124. What do you guys think?

Cindy Dandois Rant

So a few weeks ago Cindy Dandois was popping off at the mouth about Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos being a man and some other nonsense. Well, she fought Yana Kunitskaya today and got stopped as she walked forward with her arms out and her chin up. The fuck kind of striking defense is that, Cindy? On top of that she showed up to the weigh-ins looking like she hadn't trained in weeks, and that's not a jab saying she's fat at all. But when you're ranked #3 in the world at 145lbs., you need to show up in shape. And to think, this was the chick that thought she had a chance against "Cyborg"? I shudder when I think of what would have happened to her if she stepped in the ring with the Strikeforce 145 Womens Champion.

R.I.P "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott

Horrible Haircut of The Day: The New Orleans Booty

I hereby renounce my blackness.

Shitty MMA Gear: Warrior Dead Knight Trucker Hat

Images via mmaoverload.com

Up until now I have only shown shitty MMA gear in t-shirt form, but the douchebaggery does not stop there. Companies are out there ensuring that you can dress like a date rapist from head to toe. This hat by Warrior may be one of the stupidest things a human being could ever put on their head.

It has the ever-present screaming skulls that apparently are of Flavor Flav since they are wearing Viking helmets. The bill of the hat is apparently made out of heavy duty plastic and there is the traditional clusterfuck of lines and designs of whatever in the background. Plus, it's a fucking trucker hat! Perhaps Ashton Kutcher wears this when he drives to film his obnoxious camera commercials. Whatever you do, don't ever order this hat. It looks like you could buy it at a god damn gas station. You're better than that. You just HAVE to be better than that.

Jens Pulver Driven: Review

I recently purchased the Jens Pulver documentary "Driven" made by Gregory Bayne, which follows Jens' training camp for his fight against Javier "Showtime" Vasquez. It was a fight that caused me to write a post on Bloody Elbow. In hindsight, rereading it, it comes off as if I'm eulogizing Jens Pulver following another devastating loss. Jens Pulver is and always will be one of my favorite fighters and watching his post fight interviews always choke me up, as he always wears his emotions on his sleeve. When I found out that there was a movie about Jens Pulver, I jumped at the opportunity to have one of the limited released copies that come with extra features and have an autographed cover.

The film begins with Jens discussing if he's at his end as a fighter. He's faced a ton of adversity throughout his life both personally and professionally. His childhood is what most would describe as hell and his ability to overcome that adversity speaks to his strength of character. For those that are unaware and haven't read his biography, Jens was the child of an abusive drug addict alcoholic father who would not only beat him and and his brothers and mother, but also often would pull guns on them as well. To say that Jens carries these memories with him where ever he goes would be a major understatement. The fact that he's overcome such adversity in and of itself is amazing.

Jens has dedicated a lot of his time to speaking about his childhood. While other would want to internalize these emotional scars, he uses them to motivate himself to be a better person and a better father. He spends his time speaking at youth groups discussing how wrestling was the one outlet in his life that kept him going. It was his one escape as a child and kept him going through all the shit he dealt with during the rest of the week.

The movie explores Jens as a father. His move from Iowa to Idaho to open a his own gym also means he has the stress of worrying about his family's long term future. He has two kids (one from a previous marriage) and a wife to care for. He's no longer fighting to chase a belt or for his legacy. He's fighting to put food on the table and that is a very unfortunate situation. Out of all the early UFC champs, he's the only one who never had the massive payday to put him on easy street. His love for his son and wife are what drive him these days. He strives to be a better role model to his own son than his father was to him, and judging by the footage of the film, he's doing a damn good job.

The training aspect of the film is interesting but it's overshadowed by the more human aspect of the fight game that is rarely explored. Most "insider" shows such as UFC primetime or Countdown focus solely on the training for the fight and not on what else is going on in the fighter's life before the fight. There were some sparring sequences but the real focus of this documentary was to show Jens Pulver's life before his fight with Javier Vasquez.

It was a good documentary but I wish there was more. I wish Greg Bayne and Jens could get a release to use footage of his championship run as LW champ and his fights in PRIDE, which Zuffa owns. I feel that not having Jens' final speech after losing to Vasquez takes away from the film. I also wish that Greg would have gotten Dana White, Pat Miletich, and Reed Harris to appear in the film to give their opinions on Jens Pulver, it just would have added to an already fantastic film.

I also have the pre-order copy so there was additional footage that will not be seen in the digital and DVD release. Since the making of the film, the gym that Jens opened up has been closed down. There isn't much explanation about the situation but the clothing company and gym that he started have both been shut down. He's moved back to Iowa and isn't going to be training in Seattle anymore. I have mixed feeling on Jens Pulver wanting to still fight but it's more because I can't stand to see him lose. If he puts in the effort in the gym and is focused he can still compete, but I fear his best days are behind him. Whatever he chooses to do, I'll always be a fan.