The Kick Seen Round the World! (Kinda)

If I had a vagina it would be specifically designated to having Anthony Pettis' baby (and getting me out of the occasional traffic ticket). Last night Pettis landed one of the most...no fuck that THE MOST AMAZING KICK...no wait that's too much, one of the most incredible kicks...no fuck it THE MOST AMAZING KICK EVER SEEN in the sport/competetion/human cockfight known as MMA. It was the perfect sendoff to the quiet MVP of the MMA world known as the WEC. While the rest of the card lacked that certain sizzle that a WEC show is specifially known for (even the main event had just been pretty good up until that point imo) that kick sent waves of orgasms out through the arena and across the world watching at home (even women got hard after seeing that kick). Grown men were ripping out their own chest hair, women where in hysterics as their vaginas unleased a wave of fluids that only Moses could be brought in to deal with (gross), little children were drinking while driving, old women were quoting the necromonicon IT WAS PANDEMONIUM! I saw that kick and immediately had to high five my erection. I wanted to run through the streets butt naked covered in spaghetti waving an American flag and ripping down Christmas decorations, it was that awe inspiring.

Pettis was going into this fight with a series push, already well known for his flashy and unpredictable style as well for his one episode stint on MTV's newest documentary show The World of Jenks which gained him a great amount of new found attention (as well as a truckload of panty donations to his doorstep). This kid not only inflated his own fame with that magnificent kick, but he also inflated MMA as well. If you'd turn on the TV you'd see this kid practically running ESPN, he's trending on twitter, and was just offered a free night with the first lady from Barack OBama himself (Obama's only rule, just wipe her off before you give her back). Not only is Pettis going to have SUBSTANTIAL hype going into his first UFC title fight against the winner of Edgar/Maynard (anyone expecting that same kind of excitement if he fights Maynard, prepare to be deflated) but that kick is going to live on in the anals of MMA history (yes, I know the correct word is annals...but I don't care). One of the more amazing moments of the night (besides one of the announcers suggesting two fighters be stood up from a locked in triangle, or Dominick Cruz literally juking and jiving around Scott Jorgenson for 5 rounds) was that Ben Henderson actually looked surprisingly surprised when the decision came in. Now I was actually rooting for Bendo to win (always bet on black...ish Korean) but even if he won every round by a score of 10-2, as soon as Pettis lands that kick he should automatically get the nod. The only thing that could've possibly made that kick better was if it had actually finished Henderson, but as we all know Bendo is impervious to most mortal weaponry.

This is a new day ladies and gentlemen, the WEC is dead and it's talent pool will officially be absorbed into the UFC Juggernaut. I couldn't imagine a better way to end such an event or even promotion. Goodbye WEC, I may have come aboard later than others but at the end of the day in it's last few moments of existence I (unlike others) can say I WAS THERE!

Rest in peace WEC, you may now go gentle into that good night...