My Personal Year In Review: UFC in 2010 - Part One

The year started off with the much maligned UFC 108. My memories of this event are how Sam Stout teed off on Creepy Joe Lauzon at will. It was crazy to hear Sam's corner yell out combos and watch him land every single time. Cole Miller locked up the year's first candidate for Submission of the Year in his victory over Dan Lauzon and his retarded neck tattoo.

Shortly after that, the UFC had the balls to trick me into thinking Mark Coleman could defeat Randy Couture. I don't know if it was nostalgia, stupidity or video packages of "The Hammer" showing off his startling Muay Thai but I was definitely pulling for Coleman here. Alas, he canceled Christmas in vain and got RNC'd by "The Natural". To make matters worse, Tito Ortiz's colossal cranium started yelling at him after the fight. Too bad Coleman got cut and we never got to see that fight......I guess.

Cain Velasquez then knocked out the corpse of Minotauro Nogueira in the main event of the UFC's first Australian card. OH and Michael Bisping totally beat Wanderlei Silva and was absolutely fucking robbed by the dumb judges who just sat there and saw Mike lose the 2nd and 3rd rounds decisively. This fight birthed one of my favorite .gifs of the year.



Jon Jones claimed his first victim of 2010 in Brandon Vera when Bones hit him with an absolutely disgusting elbow from inside Vera's guard. It sounded like someone stepped on a piece of glass and made the right side of Vera's face flatter than Arianny Celeste's pancake butt.

At UFC 111 Shane Carwin marched his totally never had a needle rammed in it ass into New Jersey and knocked Frank Mir's chin pubes into the stratosphere with brutal uppercuts and some strikes to the back of the head. The strikes to the back of the head were totally cool, bro. Tan Dan stood there and watched them go so it's all good. Georges St. Pierre also made another Welterweight look incredibly silly as he dominated Dan Hardy for 25 minutes.

Takanori Gomi made his UFC debut this year and boy was it ever underwhelming. I was really hoping Gomi would end this shit quickly so I wouldn't have to endure Keith Florian's yelling and screaming monkey ass all night. Roy Nelson also knocked out Stefan Struve in a body shape mindfuck of a Heavyweight fight.

Anderson Silva filmed his pilot episode of Pants Off Dance Off: Abu Dhabi at UFC 112 and Frankie Edgar defeated BJ Penn for the Lightweight strap in the same night. Apparently it sucked and everyone was totallhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gify pissed yo.

The UFC went to Montreal twice this year. The first trip was UFC 113 and it was a great night of fights. Unless you were named Jason MacDonald and you broke your leg defending a takedown. Thankfully, John Salter celebrated his TKO victory over The Athlete in classy fashion by acting like he just won the Middleweight Title, the Super Bowl, MegaBucks and On-Demand Blowjobs for life all at once. After that, Patrick Cote got Pedigree'd by Alan Belcher, Matt Mitrione saved us from Kimbo Slice, Paul Daley got booted out of the UFC for punching Josh Koscheck after 15 minutes of missionary style coitus and Shogun Rua destroyed both Lyoto Machida and his knee (again) in less than a round to capture the UFC Light-Heavyweight Title.

UFC 114: Black On Black Crime was next on the calendar and Rashad Evans beat "Quittin" Jackson. The Main Event didn't deliver but everything else did. John Hathaway flat out embarrassed Diego Sanchez, Jason Brilz and Little Nog had an excellent fight in what was almost a phenomenal upset. and Mike Russow channeled his inner Homer Simpson in a crazy KO victory over TODDDUFFEE!. It was, in a word: Bop.


The UFC rumbled into Vancouver in June and had to deal with a bunch of uppity folks with beady eyes and flapping heads that didn't want "human cockfighting" in their fine city. Some dickhole fan stole fighter's hats and Ben Rothwell's napkin during entrances as a sign of goodwill. As for the fights, Carlos Condit scored a buzzer beater TKO victory over Rory MacDonald. Pat Barry got to second base with Cro Cop before breaking his hand, breaking his foot and getting choked into submission and Rich Franklin knocked Chuck Liddell the fuck out after Chuck broke Rich's arm with a kick. Chuck hasn't fought since, thank God.

Join me later this week for Part Two! Thanks for reading this.