Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Shitty MMA Gear: Team Carwin Shirt

Photo via PerformanceMMA.com

So I figured that since it was announced today that Shane Carwin would like to return to action at UFC 131 I should make this installment of Shitty MMA Gear related to him.

Not all shitty MMA Gear has to be bedazzled, adorned with skulls and obnoxious font, extra medium, or absurdly tied to Jesus. I also doesnt have to have random swirlys, splatters and dribbles as though somebody ejaculated all over a distressed cotton t-shirt and then dumped glitter all over it. Sometimes, it is the message that makes something truly shitty.

"Team Carwin" is, what I can only assume, the MMA version of "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" that I saw every tween, teen and desperately miserable adult woman declaring during the Twilight craze. On a side note, if you are a man, you do not like Twilight. If you are an alleged man, and you DO like Twilight.....I would like for you to step up to a guillotine and let the men of this world chop off your balls like the people of France chopped off Marie Antoinette's head.

Back to the focus:

If you are a fan of Shane Carwin's punching power, cardio, twitter schtick, sleep inducing interviews, alleged steroid history, 5XL gloves, his willingness to fight the band Taintstick or family man status you might be on Team Carwin. That's totally cool if you are. Just don't wear the shirt. Honestly, would any self respecting human want to mix their MMA with Twilight? I sincerely hope the answer is "no".


  1. Hey! That took a whole half hour to design in MS paint

  2. Pontius Pilate greased!!!

  3. I really appreciate how people share their thoughts and how they put into words the knowledge and every certain details that could inspire others. well all i can say about your post was SO great! thank you.

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