144 Hours of Partying: a day in the life of thisredengine

Just incase you guys were wondering if I was still alive, I am alive and well. This past weekend of ACL (a massive music festival in Austin) and my buddies from NJ came down to hangout and visit (not go to the festival). From Thursday to Tuesday afternoon, I have been completely hammered partying with babes from all over the country and because of this, I didn't really give a shit about anything but getting wild in Austin.

As far as partying goes, I want to clarify that this isn't a shtick. I don't pretend to be anything that I am not and don't believe in playing a role on the internet. I am a degenerate drinker and all around party animal. I don't do hard drugs and am not one for embellishment. My stories are 100% true and this is one worth telling. Everything you read is true as seen through my own drunken eyes. There is some photographic evidence as well and I'll include it in this post.

Thursday

My buddy Buck called me up earlier last week to let me know he was coming to Austin for ACL as the manager of the band he works for hooked him up with passes to the festival. I picked him up at the San Antonio Airport at 10 am with 4 Lone Star tall cans for the drive back. Being a proponent of the "Road Soda" concept, I wanted to get the party rolling on the drive back to my apartment. We polished off those beers on the drive and were safe in my place by noon. In preparation for the weekend I picked up 48 cans of Lone Star for my guests figuring it would at least provide enough drinking while waiting for the bar. We both drank 8 beers and headed out to cause some trouble. There is a bar in Austin called the Jackalope that provides drink specials to their facebook friends. That week the special was $1 well drinks if you tell the bartender "Extra Mayo, Baby". Five whiskey&cokes and a delicious chicken sandwich later, it's 10pm and we head over to a friend's apartment. We do three shots of Jameson and head out to a local dive bar called Liberty Bar. Please remember this location as it becomes the spot we partied at for the entire weekend. I am OCD and when I find a spot I like, I will return everyday for the rest of my life as I don't like change. Anyways, at the Liberty bar I find out that for $5 I can get a whiskey&coke and a shot of Jameson. I decide it is a great idea to drink 3 of those and we call it a night as the festival starts at 11am and Buck hooked me up with all access passes.

Friday

Friday we wake up at 9 am and finish up the first 24 pack. Seriously, I thought that 48 beers would last us at least until Sunday. I'm an idiot though and don't realize that all of my friends drink as much as I do, especially on vacation. We walk to the taco truck for breakfast tacos to get a base for the day of drinking. Our friends who also moved down here came over and we pregamed for the show by starting on the second 24 pack. Three more beers and we're ready to go. These festivals are a lot of fun but also end up costing a ton if you plan on drinking all day. Luckily since I have friends who still work in music (I did but didn't keep up on my contacts) and those all access passes gave me access to the artist lounge area. This allowed me to eat and drink for free for the day. I go to these shows with a Sig Bottle so I was walking around the show with a bottle of Vodka Red Bulls from 11am to 10pm. I lost count how many times I returned to the back stage area but I know I filled that bottle up at least 6 times (this doesn't include the bottle of wine I drank before Sonic Youth). I don't remember the rest of the show but I do remember going to the Jackalope and drinking 4 shots of whiskey and 4 PBR tall boys (password: Pistachio Nut) and us trying to find a cab to drive us home. Kinda hazy though.

Saturday

I woke up Saturday to a text from my buddy Joe saying he'll be getting into town around 6pm with our friend Adam and to "get ready to buttfuck Austin" so I had to start my day pretty early. Two Bud long necks with breakfast tacos and we were off to the festival for another day full of drinking. I headed straight to the artist tent, filled up the Sig Bottle with Vodka Red Bull and took the transportation across the park to stand on stage watching Lucero. After the set I walked over to watch Manchester Orchestra on the side of the stage. Ran out of booze so opted to skip the rest of their set and get more Vodka Red Bull. Caught half of Local Natives set and took off to party with my bicycle gang. Yes, I am in a gang. No we don't have colors. Yes, we have the name tattooed on our chest. And yes, the tattoo says "Hot Boyz". Fuck you. We quickly killed a 12 pack of Bud Long necks and head out for dinner at the Jackalope. Both of these guys used to work in music so we met up with their friend Tom who's a roadie for Band of Horses. Burgers and beers consumed, we hit 6th street. It's THE street you party on in Austin. It presents the best opportunity to pick up some strange and that's what happened. A weird bar and 4 shots of Jameson later, we leave to head back to the Jackalope. We stop for some really shitty pizza and Joe gets mad and throws his pizza in the face of some hipster. I quickly break it up with a hipster threatening me and walk away laughing. The password of the week has kicked in and we're pounding PBR tallcans. I get the number of some redhead with a butter face and my buddy Joe hops the divider between our bar and a place called "Moose Knuckle" to hit on girls, only to findout one of the girls has a boyfriend...who was standing 2 feet away. We leave at last call and I man up and drive the 2miles home while Joe vomits out the back seat window...while I get trailed by a cop. How I didn't get pulled over is a miracle. This is actually a question I often ask myself and isn't reserved for this weekend.

Sunday

Sunday we wake up and hit a place called Guero's for breakfast at 11am. We slept in, partying does require some sleep. When we get to Guero's, I order a double Screwdriver while Joe and Adam go straight to Margaritas. Then we decide to do a shot, whiskey for myself and tequila for the other two. Then we order another round of drinks. Joe convinces two girls at the bar to give him their food and then proceeds to ask what he's eating. Adam and myself are not as fortunate and order another round of shots. Joe does not do his, instead he pours it in Adam's class (they don't use shot glasses). Another round of drinks are ordered and we are becoming a little rowdy with our shameless flirting with any female within a 10 foot radius. I'm pretty good at keeping it together and am able to convince the bartender to continue to serve us even though we are getting pretty drunk in their establishment. The total damage between the 3 of us was: 6 shots of Jameson, 12 shots of tequila, 7 double vodka screwdrivers, 14 margaritas, and 4 Budweiser long necks. We leave after being cut off and I decide it's as good a time as ever to get a hair cut. I am drunk and think I should get a hair cut. Let that settle in for a bit. Somehow I decide that she hasn't done enough and opt for racing lines on the side of my head. Here is photographic evidence: yes I look ridiculous. Thanks. It's 3pm, and my friends are out cold. I smoke some weed and hit the pool in my apartment complex for a little bit before going back to my place to take a nap in preparation for the epic evening ahead of us. 7pm rolls around and we head out to a local BBQ joint called the Green Mesquite for some good ole Texas Q. A bluegrass band is playing while we drink Shiner Bock bottles and we leave when they butcher Folsom Prison Blues. Off to the Liberty Bar! I run into my buddy P.O.S. who was in town for ACL but the previous night while he was out partying, his bus drive took off in the middle of the night with the bus, his gear, and trailer. He was stuck in Austin and partying. To be honest, this is pretty fuzzy, I know I took $40 out of the ATM and was drinking the Jameson shots and Whiskey&Cokes and dropped $30. Joe disappeared at some point while Adam was kicking it to some girl. His opening line was "So how big is your vagina?" The fact that she kept talking to him is amazing. The fact that he went home alone that night is not. I found Joe in the back seat of the car and dropped him off at my apartment before returning for Adam who kept telling the girl we had an 8am Bus Call (when the tourbus leaves a city). 2am and we're back at my place. Adam passes out and I kick it with the lesbians next door till one of them starts vomiting all over the place. Taking that as my queue to exit, I'm back at my place and go to sleep knowing we have to pick up Joe's cousin Taylor in the morning at 9am.

Monday

Taylor is a pilot and flew into town to party with us for 24 hours. He wasn't piloting the plane thankfully which allowed him to drink screwdrivers and by the time we picked him up, he had a nice buzz going. We drove directly to my place to drop off his stuff and pound two beers before going to a breakfast joint called "Magnolia". While Magnolia doesn't have liquor, they do have beers. And we drank them. I spotted a good looking blonde waiting for a table outside and shit was she fine. This is an important detail as I am not one who believes in luck. Chance determines everything. Whatever, breakfast was delicious but very uneventful. What was not uneventful was our going to Barton Springs pool. We loaded my backpack with beers and ice and stole Icee cups from Exxon and headed to the pool. Why the Icee cups? You aren't allowed to drink alcohol at the pool. Fuck them, I want fresh ones. $3 and we're into the pool and low and behold the good looking blonde is there with her friends. Our focus was shifted from the girls to these topless hippie chicks. Oh yeah, booze isn't okay but titties are. Texas doesn't make sense to me but I'm not complaining. Just as the girls are leaving we strike up conversation and after some charming, I get a number and make informal plans for the 8 of us to meet up that night for drinks and all around partying. I really can't explain what happened but we ended up at Liberty Bar and ended up partying really hard. Turns out the girls are exactly the same as us and love getting wild. Joe takes off his shirt, I'm drunkenly singing and the girls show me naked pictures on their phones. Unfortunately, I don't have any of these photos but I saw boobs and vagina. Can't remember much else though.

Tuesday

Thus concludes my weekend. WHO WANTS TO FUCKING PARTY YOU GODDAMN PUSSIES?!