Friday, October 29, 2010

Zuffa Will Be Going On A Japanese Panty Raid

Now that the WEC has merged with the UFC, it's time to go on a proverbial panty raid of the Japanese Organization talent drawers. While the obvious choices would be to snag guys like Shinya Aoki and Melvin Manhoef, the UFC now has the ability to draw the Bantamweight and Featherweight fighters who avoided the WEC due to its low payscale. With both Dream and Sengoku unable to now compete with Zuffa money, it is time to go in and pick up the best international fighters in the world.


Michihiro Omigawa - Michihiro Omigawa began his MMA career as a lightweight. Like most Japanese fighters, he didn't believe in weight cutting so he was a natural 155er. After going 4-6, he dropped to featherweight and took on current WEC fighter Chan Sung Jung, which was a close decision loss. Since then, he has gone 8-1-1 with wins over Marlon Sandro, Hatsu Hioki, and Hiroyuki Takaya. His combination of boxing and judo make him perhaps the biggest threat to Jose Aldo's UFC Featherweight (weird saying that) belt and he's a must necessary addition to the Featherweight division.

Kazuyuki Miyata - Kazuyuki Miyata brings a world class wrestling pedigree to the table that is rarely seen in Mixed Martial arts. His career started poorly as the staff at FEG decided to throw this former olympian in the ring against Kid Yamamoto and Genki Sudo, which really halted his development. He's gone on a 5 fight win streak with his most recent win over Lion Takeshi, the long time king of Shooto. UFC fans will love to see this guy rolling German Suplex fighters all day long and Joe Rogan will go crazy.


Hatsu Hioki - A very tall featherweight with 15 of his 22 MMA victories coming by submission (11) or TKO (4) and he has never been finished in his career. Although he dropped a split decision to Michihiro Omigawa last year, this 27 year old fighter would definitely be a solid acquisition for Zuffa.

Lenne Hardt - Yeah, fine. She is not a featherweight or a bantamweight. Yeah, she is not even a fighter. She IS however the amazing ring announcer for Dream and formerly of Pride FC. The UFC could definitely use her unique flair and delivery as each fighter started their walk in. Bruce Buffer could provide the in ring announcements and that children, is magic!

Deo Wade

Hiroyuki Takaya - The UFC loves fighters that are will to Stand and Bang. Well, that's all Takaya does. Sure he lost both of his fights in the WEC, but Dana loves a guy that bangs. [pause] When you fight Hiroyuki Takaya "You gon' be the fuck down or you can get fucked up. It's kill or be killed. Get buck or get fucked up nigga." (can't believe I just quoted T-Pain...)

Masakazu Imanari - Why should the UFC go after this one trick pony? Because they need to scare some of these fighters into learning the ground game.If you've never seen Imanari fight, he doesn't need a takedown. He will literally slither his way across the canvas and latch onto a limb. He'd probably never be a contender, but he'd certainly strike fear in the hearts of Ultimate Kickboxers with poor Submission defense.


Norifumi "Kid" Yamamoto - If you like fighters who are mild mannered and respectful, then you are going to hate Kid. When the fight against Tetsuo Katsuta was stopped, Kid continued and left Katsuta with multiple facial fractures. Kid also had to set aside his Olympic wrestling hopes because he accidentally shot a Yakuza member in the face with an air gun. Pure natural aggressiveness, quite the contrast to the lay and pray wrestlers we have been seeing.

Yuji Shimada - "Big" John McCarthy, he is not, and while not as recognized, he is an accomplished referee. He presided over Wanderlei Silva vs. Quinton Jackson at Pride 28 and Fedor Emelianenko vs. "Minotauro" Nogueira at Pride Shockwave 2004, and has been around the game for more than a decade. There is no substitute for experience. He will be needed for all Cheick Kongo fights to remind him "no attack groin" and that is something the UFC needs today.

Lee (Fake) Emcee

Marlon Sandro - I'm Lee F. and I'm back from the dead, chilling at the beach down at club med. Now my first guy is the highly recommended Marlon Sandro. Now I don't actually know much about the guy other then he used to be a decision machine but recently stepped his game up launching dudes into orbit with a few brutal Brazilian uppercuts (that and apparently he gets edub wet). That's enough for me to make this guy my recommendation (that and I cant think of anybody else really). He'd be a nice addition to the roster, and with his blackbelt in BJJ combined with his bowel-evacuating power he'd be a fresh face around to potentially give Jose Aldo a reason to not go riding off into the lightweight sunset just yet.

Joe Warren - My nigga, this guy let me tell ya. Now I know this isn't likely considering that he's currently tied down to a frivolous contract after he won Bellator's featherweight championship (which is the equivalent of getting a stripper pregnant, you'll enjoy the ride but regret the aftermath of now being attached to a person that picks dollar bills out of their butt crack for a living, much like Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney). Phantom taps aside, you have to give him his credit. He upset Chase Beebe in his professional debut, he upset Kid Yamamoto in his second fight, and steamrolled through Bellator's latest tournament. Not only that, but he refused to let his Olympic obligations get in the way of his weed smoking, this ladies and gentleman truly is the baddest man on the planet (under 5'6'' around 140 pounds, that smokes weed and is named Joe Warren).


  1. Really? No one has the brick fisted Marlon Sandro?

    He has elite level Jiu-jitsu, he hits hard enough to make guys leave on a stretcher, Great strength for his size, and he shares the name of the greatest actor in the world (Marlon Wayans).

    Akiyo "Wicky" Nishiura, Mitsuhiro Ishida, and Bibiano fernandes honorable mentions.

  2. I would've picked Marlon if anyone asked...

  3. Edub, we each chose 2...I agree though that Sandro is on there as is Bibiano and probably Maximo Blanco who is a straight killer.

    And while we did choose a ref and crazy announcer lady, those two bring a ton to the table to chance up a monotonous UFC atmosphere.

  4. Just kidding, I don't care about Sandro.

  5. Matt: Agreed on the last point. Hearing her introduce Wand one more time would be sick nasty.

  6. Challenge! Yea I seen that cosby show too.

  7. Sandro, Warren, and Omigawa would be tits.

    "(which is the equivalent of getting a stripper pregnant, you'll enjoy the ride but regret the aftermath of now being attached to a person that picks dollar bills out of their butt crack for a living, much like Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney)." True statement and also TITS.

  8. Just now realizing how violently Homo Erotic DMX's Lyric's are. Why does he want to "rip your butthole outta place"?

  9. Soooo wet....

    Deo: How bout the ever popular "All you niggaz who been to jail before SUCK MY line"

  10. Who cares about Sandro? He's the 2nd best 145 lbs. fighter in the world of mma. He would likely destroy Aldo, but they are very close friends and training partners. This is a noob zone obviously.