UFC 122 Predictions: Loser Is Eating 6 Saltines In Under A Minute

So in Unintelligent Defense style, we're making another bet between four of us (Marta, Myself, Deo, MDH) with UFC 122. As it is not a major event, we felt that it doesn't deserve a major punishment. Therefore, the loser will have to videotape themselves eating 6 Saltine Crackers IN UNDER A MINUTE. Below are our predictions.

Deo Wade:

Nate Marquardt vs. Yushin Okami
Pick: Yushin Okami
Opinion: I can accept the "Well Rounded" angle that the UFC is using to describe Marquardt but the "Knock-Out Artist" shit has to stop. He's only (REALLY) KO'd one person (Demian Maia) since 2003. Anyway, I expect Yushin to be the smarter fighter on Saturday. He's got great TDD, good Wrestling, and the best jab at MW. And he's a massive MW..
How it will end: I've got Okami keeping Nate at bay with the jab and out wrestling him to a Unanimous Decision.

Jorge Rivera vs. Alesso Sakara
Pick: Alessio Sakara
Opinion: Alessio Sakara has the sweetest Tattoo and Beard combo in MMA, and Jorge Rivera reminds me of my old Puerto Rican neighbor. Back to the point. Rivera looked good in his last fight with Nate Quarry but let's be serious. Nate Quarry is very not good. Sakara has faster hands and better footwork.
How it will end: TKO in the 3rd. It will be a BARN BURNER.

Dennis Siver vs. Andre Winner
Pick: Andre Winner
Opinion: Dennis Siver is dangerous for 1 1/2 rounds before he gases (seriously, why do you have all those muscles?). Andre Winner's KO Power has been overstated. He knocked out someone that had no business at LW, in Rolly Delgado. Expect a shit load of STAND 'N BANG in this one.
How it will end: Once Siver has missed about 3 Spinning Back Kicks he'll start to gas. Winner will then start to pick him apart to a Split Decision.

Amir Sadollah vs. Peter Sobotta
Pick: Amir "I still have a contract because I'm a likable guy" Sadollah
Opinion: This is a gimme fight for Sadollah. The UFC is basically saying I'm sorry for getting him Grapple-Raped by Dong Hyun Kim.
How it will end: Amir Sadollah via Submission or Unanimous Decision

Krzysztof Sozynski vs. Goran Reljic
Pick: Krzysztof Sozynski
Opinion: If Sozynski's skill level was as absurd as his physique and tattoos he'd be legendary. Sadly for him it ain't. And as far as Goran Reljic is concerned, he should have never left LHW. Has he finally shook off the Ring Rust after that 2 year hiatus? Maybe but I doubt it.
How it will end: Sozynski's cardio ain't great but I don't like picking a fighter that's making a weight class change (Unless your name is Anderson Silva). Sozynski via Split Decision

Kyle Noke vs. Rob Kimmons
Pick: Rob Kimmons
Opinion: Meh
How it will end: Kimmons via submission

Vladamir Matyusheno vs. Alexandre Ferreira
Pick: Vladimir Matyushenko
Opinion: Ferreira has an impressive record fighting a bunch of dudes, but Vlad is only beaten by Elite Fighters (Vernon White is an exception to this statement of course). Ferreira is just not in that league.
How it will end: Vlad will wrestle the shit out of him to a decision.

Pascal Krauss vs. Mark Scanlon
Pick: Um......Scanlon?
Opinion: Other than them both being undefeated with most of theirs wins coming via Submission, I know nothing about either of them.
How it will end: Submission?

Duane Ludwig vs. Mark Osipczak
Pick: Mark Osipczak
Opinion: Duane "Bang" Ludwig is way past his prime AND he's coming back from a nasty ankle break. I expect him to be a bit gunshy.
How it will end: Decision

Seth "I knocked out Kimbo Slice"/"I do Homo-Erotic things for attention" Petruzelli vs. Karlos "I train by slamming a hammer into a 1992 Ford Fiesta" Vemola
Pick: Seth Petruzelli
Opinion: Vemola had his small hype train derailed by the UFC's resident HW blanket, John Madsden. And I haven't seen any pictures of Seth playing hide the sausage with Tom Lawlor lately. So he might actually be training.
How it will end: Seth beat the shit out of Ricardo Romero before he got subbed (Those double Axe Handle strikes were brutal). I expect him to do the same to Vemola.

Kris McCray vs. Carlos Eduardo Rocha
Pick: Kris McCray (reluctantly)
Opinion: McCray is not impressive. AT ALL. And I can only find a few videos on Rocha. They've both only beaten random dudes, but the quality of opponents in the U.S. is usually higher than in Europe.
How it will end: Gonna go with a submission in this one.

MostDiabolicalHater:

Pick: Yushin "Thunder" Okami
Opinion: We all saw what happened to Nate last time he fought a wrestler and he wasn't so "Great" (sigh). Okami will write the sequel to Nate's fight with Chael Sonnen and get his title shot.
How it will end: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Alessio Sakara
Opinion: After beating the skeleton of James Irvin as UFC on Versus I, "Legionarious" lost his father. Now he is back and fighting Jorge Rivera. I don't want either guy to lose but I think this is Sakara's fight. Hopefully Jorge doesn't get cut.
How it will end: TKO Rd. 1

Pick: Dennis Siver
Opinion: I will be taking a drink every time Mike Goldberg references a Siver spinning back kick. I will have my fiance post the address of the hospital where you can all send flowers and treats.
How it will end: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Amir Sadollah
Opinion: I have to pick Amir. He brings the respect and decency back to the mullet that Miguel Torres took from it.
How it will end: Submission Rd. 2

Pick: Krzysztof Soszynski
Opinion: "The Polish Experiment" was very nice to me when I spoke to him briefly in the MGM before the weigh ins for 116. I am predicting a Submission Of The Night for Krzysztof here.
How it will end: Submission Rd. 1 (kimura, just for bonus points)

Pick: Kyle Noke
Opinion: Kimmons is a tough guy who certainly wins the nickname battle. He will lose this fight however.
How it will end: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Vladimir Matyushenko
Opinion: I have to go with the Janitor.
How it will end: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Pascal Krauss
Opinion: Ouf of a combined 16 victories Krauss and Scalon have 12 submission wins. Sleeper pick for FOTN..
How it will end: Submission Rd. 3

Pick: Nick Osipczak
Opinion: Nick will do exactly what you are supposed to do to Ludwig: take him down and submit him.
How it will end: Submission Rd. 1

Pick: Seth Petruzelli
Opinion: Vemola looked horrible in his debut against John Madsen. Seth will counter Karlos' striking and put him away. Maybe he can straighten dude's crazy eye out as well. That is two birds.
How it will end: TKO Rd. 1

Pick: Carlos Eduardo Rocha
Opinion: McCray is not impressive. He also has a douchey chinstrap beard. He must lose.
How it will end: Unanimous Decision

ThisRedEngine:

Pick: Yushin Okami

Opinion: Thunder has only lost to Rich Franklin and Chael Sonnen, and the Rich loss was due to only pushing the pace in the third where he almost finished "Ace" via Kimura. He's too good of a defensive wrestler to get taken down and can box Nate up all night.

How it will end: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Alessio Sakara

Opinion: He seems to have turned a corner in his career and looks as dangerous as ever. Rivera is fighting father time and I don't think he can keep up with Legionarious.

How it will end: TKO Rd 2

Pick: Dennis Siver

Opinion: He's the most dangerous striker in the division according to advertisements and Zuffa would never lie to me.

How it will end: TKO Rd. 2

Pick: Amir Sadollah

Opinion: I think Amir is finally finding his footing in the division. Sobotta is a tough opponent but I think Amir has the Muay Thai and Grappling acumen to win this fight.

How it will end: Unanimous Decision

Pick: Krzysztof Soszynski

Opinion: He's been looking good in his UFC fights so far and Reljic hasn't impressed me at all. I'd like to see K-Sos win by kimura.

How it will end: Sub (Kimura) Rd. 2

Pick: Kyle Noke

Opinion: Eh, he's better than Rob Kimmons and I think trains with Greg Jackson. He was also the bodyguard for Crocodile Dundee or something

How it will end: TRIANGLE CHOKE!!!

Pick: Vladamir Matyushenko

Opinion: He's not good enough to be elite but he's good enough to wrestle the hell out of a dude like Alexandre Ferreira.

How it will end: Takedown takedown takedown takedown...UD!

Pick: Mark Scallions

Opinion: Total shot in the dark but he'll win by submission probably

How it will end: Flying Gogoplata!

Pick: Dwayne Ludwig

Opinion: I like this guy and can't pick against him. Really no other reason.

How it will end: Hopefully amazingly with stand and bang UD.

Pick: Seth Petruzelli

Opinion: I'm hoping the dude turned a corner. It seems he did with how Tom Lawlor has been fighting. Being as that they are penispartners it only makes sense he'll fight well too right?

How it will end: A backwards walking jab?

Pick: Kris McCray

Opinion: Saaaaaavage

How it will end: Saaaavagely.

Marta Gallo

Pick: Nate Marquardt
Opinion: He's a big dirty boy, close fight but I'm giving him the nod.

Pick: Jorge Rivera
Opinion: STAND AND BANG!! I am basing this pick on Rivera's wonderful singing, and a coin flip.

Pick: Dennis Siver
Opinion: Please give him the spinning back kick, that is all I ask.

Pick: Amir Sadollah
Opinion: Peter just really isn't great at anything other than being German.

Pick: Krzysztof Soszynski
Opinion: I think he is going to win standing and Reljic will get his walking papers.

Pick: Vladimir Matyushenko
Opinion: He should get the win here right? Sure.

Pick: Pascal Krauss
Opinion: Solid stand up skills, Scanlon win streak ends here.

Pick: Nick Osipczak
Opinion: I'm hoping to see the celebration dance where he acts like he's peeing again.

Pick: Kyle Noke
Opinion: In memory of Crocodile Hunter get the win Nokey.

Pick: Seth Petruzelli
Opinion: Seth just has way more experience that should win this fight for him.

Pick: Kris McCray
Opinion: I am somewhat concerned about this being his first fight at welterweight, but I think he can pull off the win.


Lee (Fake) Emcee

Pick: Yushin Okami
Opinion: This is a hard fight to call right here, it kind of pisses me off. Even though I kind of feel the nod should go to Marquardt, I’ve just never cared for him as a fighter and would much rather prefer to see “Thunder” finally getting his shot at the champ and a potential rematch with Anderson should he be victorious against Belfort.
How it will end: Okami by Decision (boy does that sure sound familiar)

Pick: Alessio Sakara
Opinion: “Everything of the Night” winner right here folks, don’t blink (I mean it mister you sit there until your eyeballs dry out) cause this is going to be fireworks (cliché).
How it will end: Legionarius by sounding slightly more badass than El Conquistador.

Pick: Dennis Siver
Opinion: This fight is gonna be so awesome it kind of pisses me off again. Let’s just take a moment to siver over this exciting match up. In a fight like this the fans are the real winner…alright, enough of this shtick Winner’s getting his shit pushed in BIG TIME BRO!
How it will end: TKO Rd. 2

Pick: Amir Sadollah
Opinion: I went to wikipedia to take a look at Sobotta’s information and for his nationality it lists Polish and German. It’s that kind of indecisiveness that’s gonna lose him this fight imo. Amir is gonna knock this guy out of the UFC and back to his home country (if he can figure out where the hell that is).
How it will end: Sodollah by Smarmy look into the camera/Decision

Pick: Krzysztof Soszynski
Opinion: The Polish experiment vs the Croation such and such, boy am I glad I never jumped on the Reljic hype train. Soszynski kind of looks like Herc from The Wire…I like that.
How it will end: TKO Rd. 1

Pick: Kyle Noke
Opinion: Rob Kimmons is a dirty Yank.
How it will end: TKO Rd. 3

Pick: Vladimir Matyushenko
Opinion: Both these guys have difficult names to spell, needless to say it pisses me off.
How it will end: Decision

Pick: Pascal Krauss
Opinion: Who and Who?
How it will end: Pascal by "I don't care" Rd. Meh

Pick: Duane Ludwig
Opinion: We saved England's ass in World War 2, but nothings gonna save Duane from banging (no homo) Osipczack right out of the UFC in what is sure to be a loser leaves town showdown.
How it will end: TKO Rd. 2

Pick: Seth Petruzelli
Opinion: Now I'm gonna give the Kimbo slayer one last shot here to finally get a win. I don't know anything about Vemola outside of him getting sensually messaged by Jon Madsen in his UFC debut but I'm gonna bank on Tom Lawlor's recent victory giving Petruzelli a little extra momentum going into this.
How it will end: Decision

Pick: Carlos Eduardo Rocha
Opinion: McCray never impressed me in his run during TUF even though he made it all the way to the finals. I'm actually calling for the UFC newcomer to pull out the surprise win just cause McCray’s hair kind of pisses m...I think you know were I'm going here.
How it will end: Submission Rd. 1