Saturday, November 20, 2010

UFC 123: This Is Gonna Be Explosive!

So while Deowade is being a giant vagina and not doing the saltine challenge, we are setting up for another challenge. This time the loser has to eat 6 poptarts in 2 minutes. The twist is that the person with the most correct picks chooses the flavor(s). No liquids to help. But you can choose to either toast or eat them cold. This is gonna be hilarious because if somehow you can get them down, you'll most likely vomit. WOOO!!!

Okay so here's everyone's picks.

MostDiabolicalHater

Pick: Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida
Opinion: As I wrote earlier this week, I think Rampage Jackson has a very high chance of getting embarrassed in this fight. Lyoto has too much quickness and he is gonna put the whoopin on Page's legs. Machida Karate will make a triumphant return to the Octagon and Rampage will get less offense in than Tito Ortiz did against Lyoto.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick:
Matt Hughes
Opinion: BJ at 170 is just bad news. He is not with Marinovich anymore and it is hurting his game. I think Matt Hughes continues his winning streak against BJJ Black Belts.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick:
Gerald "Hurricane" Harris
Opinion: Harris' opponent has KO'd a shitload of people in Brazil. Harris will keep him flat on his back and get a GnP victory
How It Will End: TKO Rd. 2

Pick:
Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis
Opinion: Tim Boetsch is a solid wrestler and will forever be remembered for tossing David Heath on his head like a lawn dart. On this night he will be remembered for being tooled by Phil Davis.
How It Will End: Submission Rd. 2

Pick:
George Sotiropolous
Opinion: Jennifer Lopez is already on record bitching about his opponents GeorgePants so I think he is gonna get tapped.
How It Will End: Submission Rd. 3

Pick: Brian Foster
Opinion: Foster will give Matt Brown his walking papers.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick:
Mark Munoz
Opinion: I think Munoz has more tools to win this fight. I think. It won't be a pretty affair I'm afraid.
How Will It End: Split Decision

Pick:
Dennis Hallman
Opinion: I just cannot trust The Heat to show up. Sorry, Bro.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision

Pick:
Edson Barboza
Opinion: I don't know much about either of these guys.
How It Will End: TKO RD. 1

Pick:
Paul Kelly
Opinion: He better win. England is losing left and right.
How It Will End: TKO Rd. 2

Pick:
Tyson Griffin's Badonkadonk
Opinion: This is win or get the fudge out for Griffin and if he loses this one he deserves to get the boot.
How It Will End: Unanimous Decision


FakeEmcee

“Hey Lee, how come you haven’t written anything in awhile while everyone else is putting out amazing articles?” Well cause your mother that’s why.

Pick: Lyoto Machida

Opinion: Rampage’s best days are most likely behind him, but I certainly don’t consider it outside the realm of possibility that in a 15 minute period he can land one good shot to end the night. Now I’d like that, but that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is most likely Lyoto’s gonna dance around and have Quinton swinging at air.

How it will end: Rampage getting knocked out? Get the fuck outta here, this things gonna be a Machida decision if we ever see one.


Pick: BJ Penn

Opinion: I’m gonna allow myself one homer pick and sorry Rampage but this time that pick is BJ. Penn hasn’t exactly looked too fresh in his last couple of outings, but that would concern me more if he was going up against a prime Hughes which certainly isn’t the case. Hughes still has only the most sub par of standup and even if he gets BJ down I don’t expect him to be able to do much this time around. Needless to say, if Penn comes out and allows his own banner to smack him in the face again I’ll be worried.

How it will end: BJ Penn either by decision, or 3rd round RNC.


Pick: Gerald Harris

Opinion: I’m picking Harris, but I’ve got a funny feeling towards Falcao. Funny like that time my uncle held me between his legs and told me he’d never let me go home again (somehow this story isn’t as creepy as it sounds when in the proper context).

How it will end: Decision


Pick: Phil Davis

Opinion: The era of black men with sexuality-questioning physiques making a run in the sport is upon us, bask in their well toned glory.

How it will end: One sided Decision


Pick: George Soti…Sotier…the nigga not named Joe

Opinion: Joe Lauzon’s best attribute is most likely his ground game, this will not be a good fight for him. On the ground George has got old man strength (as well as an old man torso) and even though his body looks like someone left him out in the sun too long, he’s gonna wrap Joe up like a Christmas present and donate him to goodwill. Plus, expect Joe to be too distracted from having to promote his latest Jackass movie.

How it will end: A little rug burn, but mainly a Decision for George.


Pick: Brian Foster

Opinion: “The Immortal” unfortunately doesn’t apply to Brown’s career.

How it will end: Foster by young man strength.


Pick: Mark Munoz

Opinion: Two wrestlers going at it, with Munoz having the edge in stand up.

How it will end: With SpkeTV not having enough airtime to show any more prelim fights.


Pick: Karo Parisyan

Opinion: Karo better worry his ass about winning me this Gold Medal in picks, cause personally I think toilet flavored pop tarts is the best choice. Plus Dennis Hallman looks like the athletic commission forced Ivan Drago off the roids.

How it will end: Expect Karo to end this one quick (so he can rush back home to make sure he didn’t leave the stove on).


Pick: Edson Barboza

Opinion: I don’t know either of these guys, but one doesn’t have a wiki page.

How it will end: TKO Rd 2


Pick: Paul Kelly

Opinion: I really don’t care

How it will end: With me forgetting about this fight immediately after typing this.


Pick: Nick Lentz

Opinion: Griffin is on a downward spiral, I expect Lentz to decision the hell out of this fight.

How it will end: What happens when a Detroit audience gets bored? Somebody’s getting stabbed.



Marta_Gallo


These picks were so hard, do you pick with your heart or with your head ugh...

Pick:
BJ Penn
Opinion: BJ must win this fight, if it was 5 rounds I would pick Hughes but it's not. BJ has to get Hughes down while he is still fresh or Matt is going to take advantage of him. BJ please don't break my heart.
How It Will End: RD 2 submission

Pick: Phil Davis
Opinion: Tim is going to want to keep this fight standing but Phil is going to disagree with that. Boetsch' gas tank while on the ground is terrible. I expect Phil to grind it out.
How It Will End: Decision

Pick: Gerald Harris
Opinion: Welcome to the UFC Maiquel, your housewarming gift is Gerald Harris' fist. Falcao is a bit mysterious here, heavy handed and has a couple dozen knockouts, but cardio is a question mark. He throws wild and will come out crazy, Harris will weather the early storm.
How It Will End: TKO

Pick: G-Sots
Opinion: I like Creepy Joe Lauzon, but I think that George is better on the ground and is better standing. Sots has also shown that he can get guys down and get the mount. Does anyone else feel like this is the revenge of the nerds?
How It Will End: Submission

Pick: Machida
Opinion:Will Rampage learn from the Shogun blueprint? No. Rampage wants to "fight his fight" and he's going to lose because he is too slow to keep up with Machida.
How It Will End:Decision

Pick: Munoz
Opinion: Mark has more technical boxing, better clinch, and a high-level wrestling pedigree. I think Simpson has his hands full here. Munoz will dominate him on the ground
How It Will End: TKO

Pick: Matt Brown
Opinion: He has twins to feed! He said "I will want it more" and I believe him. The Immortal needs to proceed with some caution as Foster is heavy handed and definitely wants to put on a show.
How It Will End: Submission

Pick: Parisyan, bro
Opinion: I sincerely hope that Karo has overcome is anxiety disorders. He said judo is second nature and he feels the judo. I hope so, I want to see home hip tosses and foot sweeps.
How It Will End: UD

Pick: Barboza
Opinion: I'm not even going to lie, I have never heard of either of these guys. I am picking Edson based on his name(Pirates of the Caribbean) and a quick Wiki check.
How It Will End: KO

Pick: O'Brien
Opinion: TJ was a late addition to this card, but look for the Midwest version of "The Spider" to use his long limbs and height advantage to put Kelly in a RNC or triangle. I would guess that Kelly gets his pink slip after this fight.
How It Will End: Sub

Pick: Griffin
Opinion: Tyson is going to bounce back from those losses NOW. I hope to see Griffin use effective striking against Lentz and get back to those exciting FOTN performances that we are use to seeing from Griffin.
How It Will End: Decision

Deo Wade

Pick: Machida
Opinion: I no longer look forward to watching Rampage fight. And Machida's style is just a horrible match-up for Mr. Jackson.
How It Will End: A Tito Ortiz style embarrassment

Pick: BJ Penn
Opinion: Penn has disappointed me twice this year. You'd think that would stop me from picking him. Well, you'd be wrong. That's how much I dislike Matt Hughes.

Pick: Maiquel Falcao
Opinion: Gerald Harris seems like a nice dude, but he has a bad habit of looking lackluster before getting the highlight reel finish. Falcao is not the dude to try that with.
How It Will End: Upset KO

Pick: Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis
Opinion: The "Redneck Jiu-Jitsu" bandwagon is getting smashed tonight.
How It Will End: Submission

Pick: "Creepy" Joe Lauzon
Opinion: I originally picked Sotiropoulos but I've changed it last minute. I kept rewatching Lauzon make Gabe Ruediger eat the cake in his last match.
How It Will End: TKO

Pick: Brian Foster
Opinion: This is the battle of the dudes that got sonned by Chris Lytle. Neither has a style that will cause problems for the other. So expect a bunch of Stand'N'Bang for FOTN.

Pick: Mark Munoz
Opinion: Wrestle-Boxer vs. Wrestle-Boxer with power. I'll take the latter.
How It Will End: TKO

Pick: Dennis Hallman
Opinion: Karo beat some jobber in Australia to get back into the UFC. I hate him and I hate his face. Plus he looked chubby at the weigh-ins.
How It Will End: Decision

Pick: Edson Barboza
Opinion: Jiu Jitsu (This is what I put when I know nothing about a Brazilian Fighter)
How It Will End: Jiu Jitsu

Pick: T.J. O'Brien
Opinion: Paul Kelly is very not good .O'Brien's height and reach is going to be the deciding factor in this one.
How It Will End: Submission

Pick: Tyson Griffin
Opinion: As some of you may know. I do not like Nik Lentz. I think he's everything that's wrong in MMA right now. That being said, Griffin is way to strong and way to skill for him. Lentz shouldn't be able to Lay and Pray the human keg know as Tyson Griffin......Badonkadonk. Sorry I had to say it.


ThisRedEngine

Pick: Machida
Opinion: Seriously, is this even a question? Rampage doesn't want to do this any more, dude just likes money. And all that shit about having exciting fights? Come on, he wants guys who will stand in the pocked with him since he has a solid chin and KO power. Machida won't do that.
How it will end: Machida decision

Pick: Hughes
Opinion: Matt Hughes looks like he's having fun fighting. I think he will be able to deal with a Penn who is coming up in weight without the Marvonich's (I don't care about the spelling) strength and conditioning program. This is my guess for the night.
How it will end: Hughes by decision

Pick: Harris
Opinion: This is a toss up fight. Gerald Harris has improved immensely since his time on TUF. In fact, of all the fighters on the Forrest vs. Rampage season, he's probably got the most upside. This is a tough first fight for Falcao. Harris slams the shit outta him by being explosive.
How it will end: Harris by TKO in the 3rd.

Pick: Davis
Opinion: Seriously? This is as guaranteed as you can get without a fix.
How it will end: Davis by anaconda choke in the 2nd.

Pick: Sotiropolous
Opinion: Lauzon is good and still young, but come on...seriously? Sotiropolous is a fight away from the title which I'd expect to be against Gomi. He's too skilled on the feet and ground. He's not Gabe Ruediger, you don't man handle George.
How it will end: George by Decision.

Pick: Simpson
Opinion: In a fight between two wrestlers, I think Simpson just is better at setting up his shots. Munoz was a true blue-chip prospect, but hasn't impressed me at all. Simpson has better hands and better wrestling for MMA. If his gastank holds up, he wins.
How it will end: Simpson by TKO in the 2nd.

Pick: Foster
Opinion: I like Matt Brown, but his stand up and BJJ won't be able to do much against Foster's power or wrestling.
How it will end: Foster by Decision

Pick: Hallman
Opinion: If Karo wasn't bat shit crazy, this is an easy pick. But he is. So I'm picking the sane Dennis Hallman.
How it will end: Karo sees invisible black jesus when Hallman subs him.

Pick: Barboza
Opinion: Come on, he's THE Brazilian prospect. He's gonna win.
How it will end: Violently.

Pick: Kelly
Opinion: I'm not sold on T.J. Obrien. He got knocked out by Marc Stevens...seriously? And he's gonna beat Kelly? Fuck outta here.
How it will end: Kelly by TKO.

Pick: Griffin
Opinion: How the mighty have fallen...Kid was a fight or two away from a title shot and now he's fighting Nik fucking Lentz?! If Tyson can't make Lentz exciting, no one can. This is gonna be terrible. Just terrible.
How it will end: Who cares?

5 comments:

  1. So Black Lesnar makes a bet, loses said bet, and then splits. I'm proud of Roth for killing 4 habeneros, but I don't get how hard it is to eat 6 saltines in a minute.

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  2. Since 122 was a weak event, it got a weak challenge. 6 pop tarts in 2 minutes is awesome. Cause of the flavors. And it was a different lesnar. The black one writers for Watch Kalib Run.

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  3. It's true. I can't stand it when someone makes a bet and then flakes out when it doesn't go their way. Good on ya. I enjoyed the video.

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  4. Considering what the past 60 days have been like for me, I really don't care much about a milk challenge.

    ReplyDelete